story of my life

Perbualan di alam maya dengan adik bongsu

Atiq : Adik wak gapo 2?
KuZett : Mkn mee mama.
KuZett : Delicio
KuZett : *Delicios
Atiq : Eee terukk
Atiq : Atiq makey cereal jah :((
KuZett : ...
KuZett : Tkdi adk minum air cendol

learning to save people's lives/headbanging

I went to a nearly 5-hour straight Heartsaver AED course yesterday, in which we were taught CPR (...AGAIN), how to use this AED machine (it's a mini version of the big machines you see on tv shows that they use to shock dying people and before that they say 'CLEAR!!', yeah that one), learn to say 'CLEAR!!' in the way required by the Irish First-Aid Foundation, and help a choking person (/no comment).


They used this music/beats to help us get used to the rate in which we need to do the chest compressions. There were 6 mannikins (that's how they spell it here!) so 6 of us would do the chest compressions together. The lights were dimmed so we can see the video clearly...and I find it hilarious because in my head, I was thinking 'This is like a nerdy headbanging session lolol'.


...Imaginasi Atiqah terlalu tinggi.




I end the post with this,


...helping a choking person. *cough

this is an excerpt of me being an idiot (part II)

Location : Computer Lab, Boole Basement, UCC.
Timeline : 2 years ago.


I just finished printing my lecture notes, and being the get-all-things-done-in-one-go person that I am, I just had to staple the notes together there and then. Hence began my adventure in looking for a stapler.

Atiq : Excuse me, hi. Hi. Uhm..do you have a stapler?
IT Guy at counter : *refrains-from-snapping-face* No, sorry.
Atiq : Oh, okay. *what's-up-with-you-face*

As I was turning away from the counter I saw an A4-sized notice on it, it says (in all capital letters);



'SORRY, WE DO NOT HAVE A STAPLER'

oooh let's talk about the weather.

it's been really great lately, no rain, sunshine all the way. yesterday i stood all alone beside the student centre waiting for this postgrad lady (i volunteered to be the subject of her interview, for her dissertation) for 15 solid minutes, watching college students walk past and feeling the breeze on me. it was around 4.30pm, and it was so relaxing, for some reason. i guess i really needed a short break from all the rushing here and there. (went to the other side of the building after 15 mins of waiting and found her waiting for me there, puffing away).

but it's not spring yet though, cause there still isn't that fresh scent of flowers blooming that comes when spring is around. i'm not lying, it really exists!

nothing too significant has happened that's blogworthy/lulzworthy. except for the fact that i was filling up my organiser with exam dates, printing notes and such...and realized i have a LOT of catching up to do in terms of lectures and so March is going to be completely insane.

prepare for the crazy posts that comes when Atiqah has tons to do.

just invited Awah + Opie to read. if KuZett has a gmail then i'd have a complete set of mafasynz (except Anis...) reading my blog.

you really had to have a gmail to get in here, right? or is that just my deluded conclusion? i think i had to have an @gmail email when my friend invited me to his private blog eons ago. i don't know.




xx

i just read a malaysian doctor's account on what he saw in Gaza. he went with MERCY and worked at a hospital in Gaza..

may Allah reward them (the humanitarian team + the Gazans) for their strength and bravery, kindness and imaan. i am eternally awed.

Pancake Day!!

two years ago i was actually eating pancakes on pancake day :/ fionualla made them for us and then there was an argument about american pancakes and crepes and irish pancakes or whotever. and i actually found out it was pancake day after stating that it was bizarre that JR invited me over to his place (i didn't go k!!) for pancakes while we were eating fionualla's pancakes and everyone just screamed 'it's pancake day, shorty!!'.

pancake day is a total phail though. kuzi day would be amazing. CAN HAZ KUZI DAY PLZ?

EmceeWemcee

I just got back from Sisters' Night, the closing event for our Islamic Cultural Event on campus. I guess I did okay, apart from the epic phailure of calling a representative from Cork Mosque Women's Society sister Elena when her name is actually Charlotte, and attempted to get away with it by saying 'Sorrrieeee. ....I love yew...? *heartshaped fingers*'. Yes all this happened on stage, and yes I agree I must never emcee formal events. Or maybe never emcee again. Ever.

Wrote a short poem like 15 minutes before reciting it on stage and improvised it as I went on..lol.
Here be the poem for your amusement.


'Sometimes', by Atiq the epic fail emcee.

Sometimes it rains.
Sometimes the sun is out.
Sometimes we fail exams..
Sometimes we pass them.
And sometimes...we get first class honors.

This is life.
Sometimes we're riding the clouds,
and sometimes...we drown.

Sometimes we drown
In the deep, cold waters
of the hateful ocean.

And we need someone
to pull us down when we're
too far up the stratosphere
losing ourselves.

And we need someone
to pull us out of the water.
So we can breathe.

And for that,
I am thankful to be a Muslim.
Because no matter where you're from,
no matter what skin colour you are;
Dark
Fair
or something in between

We are sisters
And I can count on you
to be there for me
And you can count on me
to be there for you
when you need me to.

InsyaAllah.





Assalamualaikum
x

Self indulgence and all that.

I was craving chocolate cake and I did my usual sengih annoying to Adilah and she went all 'Atiq nak ape?!' (haha Ain mesti rindu nak sakit hati tengok Atiqah punya sengih annoying). So I told her I was craving chocolate cake and she said she'd bake some for tomorrow's Halal Food Fest :O I was actually quite shocked that she didn't say something like 'Buat sendiri la pemalas!' ekekeke. She probably planned to bake the cake for the event even without me asking her to, though. Adilah bakes amazing cakes. About as amazing as Syah. I wish I had some domestic talent. Does washing dishes count? I'm excellent at it and I have these OCD dish-washing rules that Mama implanted in my brain.

....hahahah omg Atiqah is seriously trying to convince people into thinking of dishwashing as a domestic talent. Seriously a phailure in being female.

I just realized that I have this habit on planes in which I won't be picking up those travel catalogues they have, but everytime the person sitting beside me picks it up, I'd be reading it over their shoulders. Haha. Eh orang tu mestila Atiq kenal, takkan tibe-tibe buat perangai aneh dekat orang yang tak dikenali (Haha knape tibe2 rase cam ade je possibility untuk Atiqah berbuat begitu). I mentioned this to Mas the last time I sat beside her on a plane (as I was reading the magazine she had on her lap) and she went all 'Pemaalaaass!' lololol. Alamak Atiqah pemalas ke?!? o.O

I met these Malay kids who speaks English with British accent, and when my friends called this girl's name, she said 'What?' which, in her accent, is pronounced as 'Wok?'. My friends were thoroughly amused by this and asked 'Well how do you spell that?' XD But they weren't being mean, I promise. Saje gurau dgn the little girl. These kids are the first Malay kids living abroad that I've met who are fluent in both English and Malay (walaupun the Malay ade this adorable British accent lol).

I want to share this adorable God-to-mere mortal experience that I had over the weekend...but I'm not too sure how to go about it? Anyway conclusion I got from that is Allah = uber sweet. And you're missing a lot if you haven't been reading the translations of the Holy Qur'an. I mean seriously. It's filled with amazingness and all that. Read it!

Awah's engagement ring is like, 15K, WHAT!?! Even though I'm not a fan of the spending loads on weddings tradition (inorite, you totally should marry me), I'm so happy for her..she's being all giddy and excited and tearful and stuff. It's adorable how much she's changed (even though still is somewhat mentally challenged), and Bobster is an amazing person with great taste in shoes, so all is good.

Going to read over/edit Kak Yan's assignment now. Having me checking her grammar is only going to damage the essay, methinks x.x

<3

cooler than your sister (in which i say amazing way too many times)

I came home from class and was amazingly delighted to see parcelS for me. PLURAL YESS. I love parcels. They're amazing.

So one was from Threadless, which is an amazing online shop that sells really comfy shirts with witty/pretty prints. I bought shirts in my favourite size, which is the Guys Small :D They're an amazing fit.

Another one is from the Kakwe. I was uber excited for that one because I've been waiting for it (it's my birthday gift!) and I was expecting something small because both Mama and Kakwe said it's ringan, or something. I don't quite remember why exactly is it that I have the perception that it was going to be small.

Anyway. It's not small! It's medium-sized, I'd say. And the hadiah is AMAAAZZZIIIINNNGGGGGSHKB3LIUR1928^&%6YH. It's so pretttyyyyyy! Thanks Kakwweeeee!!!

It's this Momoe slingbag with flowery print similar to these backpacks Kakwe and I bought in Bandung. I love that print!! And people always ask me where I bought the backpack from everytime I use it!~ The slingbag is totally me, like. Gahhhh....ILOVEYEWLOVEYEWWW KAKWE-KUNN.


<3333

of emotional lecturers and awkward silences

tutorial just now was the single most painful class i've ever had to sit through. i've always had this lady lecturer as my tutor, and she's, well, not too talented as a teacher. i've always thought this, but i forgave her, seeing that she's europian and english isn't her first language. so she probably is a good teacher, she just cannot deliver it as well as the others can because of the language barrier, just like some of the malaysian students who are absolutely excellent in their studies (not me), but doesn't shine in class because it takes time to construct good sentences for everyone to understand.

as each tutorial session pass throughout the academic year, the number of people in my group attending her tutorials became less and less, and i realize how packed the other two rooms were (i.e. my groupmates ditched her tutorial and went to the other ones). i stayed with her because my being a non-native english speaker as well made me give her the sympathy vote. but every single time i can't stop feeling that i'm not learning as much as the other groups are.

anyway.

today was painful BECAUSE. well i think it's because she finally realized that it wasn't timetable confusion that's been causing the students to be missing from her classes (we tried to convince her that this was the case so as to not hurt her feelings), that it's actually just because they didn't want her to be their tutor. she just lashed out at us, making us give all the answers to the questions, not correcting us on anything and just said yes to everything, not elaborating on any of our points, nothing. and she practically asked Owen to leave the class. thank God Owen was nice enough to say that he doesn't wanna leave, or else it would've been tres awkward. She once asked JR to leave her lecture and JR just stood up and left.

and she asked us what do we expect from tutorials, and whether we expect the teacher to give us all the answers, the way it is in primary school. i felt insulted. i don't expect you to tell me the answer, but i expect you to tell me whether or not my answer is right, and not just smirk, you TALL PRETTY WOMAN (this is my way of cursing. i iz kind)

Callum practically cursed his way to the elevators after the class ended.


We finished an hour earlier than we're supposed to.

this is a good night post.

i have laundry to be done, notes and books to rearrange thanks to the pre-exam craze, reports to write down..but i'm crying instead. TALK ABOUT RAGING HORMONES. i can't even take my evening primrose capsules anymore to correct my crazy hormones because i just realized it has something of bovine source for the capsules. gah. i've taken like three quarter of the bottle's worth.

i only had like two or three hours of sleep last night, up until now. i think i'll be fine with the on-calls really (haha yearrite). the patient i saw this afternoon was a nice person who kept winking and smiling at me even when i accidentally hit his arm with the reflex hammer, instead of my finger. my fingers are way too small and thin for the freaking hammer. haha, no really i just don't have any reflex hammering skillz.

i was in the first group for this morning's anatomy flag test. since they're using the same cut up cadavers with tiny flags stuck all over them for the whole class, we were quarantined until the last group has gone in. so we were stuck in the lecture hall watching YouTube videos on the big LCD screen for two freaking hours. a couple of Irish guys actually LAUGHED at this ultra creepy Happy Tree Friends episode and it was just plain wrong and disturbing. i mean, come on. let's not try and be Juno.


okay i'm done yapping, and i'm not crying anymore.

phew. i iz strong.



<3

reasons to like being surrounded by white men

when i pack for summer i always pack my hand luggage with loads of stuff to take the weight off my check-in luggage. this might sound a bit weird, but there's the check-in luggage weight limit, you see. my hand luggage was almost always too heavy for me to lift, and definitely always impossible for me to pick up and put in the plane's overhead compartment. but i never worry about this, because there are always tall and strong guys to help me out. haha. there's this once when i bought a ton of stuff from Argos and i can barely carry them. one of the things fell out of my grip and i just stared helplessly at it because i couldn't pick it up without putting everything else down. guess what happened? there was this guy who came running from across the street and offered help. ahaha. suka, suka. being small in a country where everyone is at least a foot taller than you has its own perks.

yesterday i was studying at the library, and after a while i decided to go and buy chocolate at the vending machine. there were a bunch of Americans standing behind me at the vending machine. i think they're Americans...they might be Canadians though, i can't tell their accents apart. anyway, my Mars bar got stuck and it didn't fall down for me to pick up, so i let out a small 'oh noooee'. one of the American guys turned round, said 'it's okay i got it.', HUGGED the freaking vending machine, and started to violently shake it. haha! omggg i thought the whole shelf of Mars bars were going to fall into the pick-up compartment!

i don't think any Malay guys can ever do that, bc you need to be freaking HUGE to hug a freaking VENDING MACHINE. lol. (not that i have anything against Malay guys...i just wish they're bigger. and taller. and less chauvinistic. HAHA.)


<3

ah. just a normal blog.

it was my last GP visit. we only have one good case to write on. i guess i'd make up/steal somebody else's case for the other write up. i got home around 6 which is expected, but the downside to this is that 6pm Ireland = 1am Malaysia. Didie've been wanting to talk to me for ages and i haven't got the chance to talk to her. she called the day before yesterday but i wasn't home. she wanted to call yesterday but i have exams early this morning so i told her to call me today. it didn't occur to me that she's probably got loads to tell, and so calling me at 1 in the morning isn't exactly an appealing idea.

nway she texted me on the bus and i didn't have any credit to reply, so i replied using syazif's (superlush) phone telling her to go to sleep and call tomorrow.

i probably made her sad by doing this, which makes me sad :( i'm not even close to being a doctor yet and i'm already failing in keeping promises.

so nobody cares about this but i want to write it anyway. have a good day!

x

Life = Win

I just bought tickets to Bangkok from Malaysia but I haven't bought tickets to go back to Malaysia.

The last time I went to Thailand was eons ago so I'm well excited. It's hardly tracing back our roots bc it's Bangkok and not Pattani/Yala/Narathiwat but STILL.

I'M GOING WITH MY SISTERS AND IT WILL BE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELLING PANTS II WHICH IS EPIC WIN.

Opie's going as well!

and Kakwe left comments, yeay!

Kepada Hanisah (orang lain boleh proceed baca p/s sahaja.)

Atiqah sayang Hanisah kerana Hanisah terlalu baik hati dan istimewa. Harap maaf kerana Atiqah sedikit lacking dari segi mengconnect dengan manusia2 secara emotional-wise dan tersilap menjerit apabila Hanisah hulur tangan untuk peluk walaupun tahu Hanisah bukan nak peluk betul-betul pun. Kebelakangan ini merasa perlu untuk melindungi diri daripada terlalu rapat dengan sesiapa kerana Atiqah takut kepada manusia. Kecuali Musang kerana Musang bukan manusia dan Musang duduk di Jepun dan hanya berkomunikasi dengan Atiqah sekali sebulan dan kadang-kadang sekali dua bulan.

Harap maaf juga kerana menjawab panggilan telefon pada ketika Hanisah masih belum habis berkata-kata. Harap maaf juga kerana tiba2 merasa bahawa tidak memberi nasihat yang betul, balik-balik mengajar Hanisah supaya menjadi lebih kejam dan menyuruh Hanisah menjadi seorang yang beku hatinya seperti Atiqah.

Atiqah bukan seorang yang pandai menjaga diri, tapi Atiqah pandai mengelak dari mempunyai apa-apa perasaan. Ini hanya boleh didapati jika anda mempunyai zaman kanak-kanak yang traumatizing jadi tiada tips untuk bagaimana untuk menjadi cyborg seperti Atiqah.



Sekian.

p/s: Adakah anda mahu lihat lagi gambar2 annoying Atiqah yang sengih terlalu lebar? Nanti Atiqah upload lagi kalau rajin. Haha. Mesti semua orang (by semua orang i mean satu atau dua orang) akan tinggal comment jawab taknak.

hello prettyface

ahh...sorry about the last post. that was blown way out of proportion. i wasn't feeling my best when i typed it. all he did was attempt to be friends, and i wasn't ready. well i don't think i ever will be. the post's on draft now because i'm indecisive like that.

anyway. let's just move on from that shall we? k? k. loveyou.

i was away for the weekend, and did some things. among them were;

1. opened my mouth to talk when it was snowing quite heavily and thus ate some snow. yum.

2. ate cucur for dinner.

3. got told i sengih too lebar and too often.

4. realized i sengih too lebar and too often hence realizing i always appear somewhat crazy.

5. took obnoxious pictures such as;


because i was so bored of waiting.

6. belajar urogenital anatomy di khalayak ramai dengan sengaja kerana sahaja berperangai annoying dan membuatkan orang-orang tua di belakang berasa curiga.


bai!

counselling superpower

i don't know what is it with me that people always come to me when they're troubled. despite my apparent lack of wisdom and ice-cold heart, they still make me their unofficial counsellor.

don't get me wrong, i don't mind them doing this at all. it just makes me wonder why is it that it's this way.

i have a double bed, and i'm ALWAYS sitting/sleeping/studying on the right side of the bed. my housemates are always randomly coming into my room, slipping under the duvet beside me and then take a nap/cry/start telling me about something. i find it rather bizarre that they find talking to me comforting when all i do is smile and say they'll be grand, don't worry too much, and other crappy/useless things.

i'm glad that i can be of some use to my friends though...

...back to Anatomy.

I wasn't feeling great today, so I didn't go to GP. I was having a hard time deciding not to go because I was scared of missing out on a good case, but the thought of having to sit in front of Centra waiting for the bus on the way back with John and Syazif just didn't sound too great. Coachford is always freezing cold.

But I got a text from Syazif that said;

'Atiq, lucky u! The neuro patient cancelled her appnmnt,therefore we dun ave ny patient 2 examine etc..so the doc said dat he'll try 2 ave 2 patients next week for us n it'll b like 3 visits in one, GI, neuro and thyroid+diabetes...happy bout that?'


YUSS. SCORE.

huh?

it's nearly two?! how did that happen?!

the moon is hanging low tonight

(in which i was an invisible black blob and you can hear the proof of my stupid lack of stamina)

KMB.

Ain was like a fitness instructor to me back then. She's always making me go jogging with her, go to dancerobic sessions with her, go play squasy with her, etc etc. One day she came to my room and asked me to play tennis with her. Despite my protests (I have NO idea how to play tennis) she convinced me to go with her, and said we'd learn together because she doesn't really know how to play it either.

When we got to the courts, all of them were taken except for the one on the far right, beside the road people use to go back-and-forth from the dorms to the field/gym. We both hesitated in fear of embarrasment, but we went ahead anyway. As we were playing tennis (or should I say as we were picking up tennis balls from the court..) Amin and Shamil walked by, on their way for football. They stopped, SAT DOWN, SENGIH-SENGIH, and decided to amuse themselves by WATCHING US PLAY.

Walaupun sakit hati dan malu, we kept playing anyway. After a while, I don't remember which of them said this but one of them yelled over;

'EY KORANG INGAT KORANG MAIN BADMINTON KE??!! TINGGI GILE BOLA!'



...i hate them.


(...jk)

/Ain I miss you and I am fat without you.

Weekend.

So my weekend was CRAZY...not really. I got loads of stuff done, but when I get loads of stuff done it means I am indoors. Which is BAD because I seriously have to work on my stamina. It's insane how I get dyspnoea everytime I try to climb a hill and talk. It's getting to a point where it's unhealthy. If I talk to people on the phone while walking somewhere (I always do this to save time) they almost always ask 'Why are you breathing like that, are you okay? Are you running?' and I'll be 'NO, I'M WALKING!!' (Dengan nada bengang kepada diri sendiri).

Oh, you wanna know something? The car rental company now requires people to be at least 23 to rent a car, or we'd be charged extra. Like seriously. I turn twenty one and they upped their requirement from 21 to 23. I'm telling you, the Irish are scared of me being let loose on their roads.

...I'll stop now. Bai. xx

Yvonne Ridley : So I was talking about Islam to my mother the other day, and she said ' Oh..No, no..I'm old..I don't wanna get involved in some crazy Arab religion'. So I said to her, 'Well, where do you think Jesus came from, Manchester?'

Facts.

1. The hospital = maze. I keep getting lost.
2. Temperature tonight = 0 degrees.
3. Dinner = (American) pancakes.
4. Pathology lecturer = insane.
5. Changeling = sad/disturbing.
6. Cooking skills = stagnant.
7. Studies = meh.
8. February Resolution = leave earlier for class (see no.1)
9. Communication skills = deteriorating.
10. Atiqah = insomniac.



there was a guy who slept in the lecture this morning. but that is not all.


...he snored.

p.s. Niesa, if you're reading this - I didn't lie! Mas came in minutes after you left, and said Aza's not cooking dinner coz Mas is craving pancakes. I'll go out for dinner with you next time kay PROMISEPROMISELOVEYEW.

Dr J.Hogan

Dr J.Hogan : So...what's your diagnosis for Case 1?
Callum : He's going to die.
Dr J.Hogan : Yes, but you can't let him. You have to save him, so you can be famous. Don't you wanna be rich and famous?
Class : *silent*
Dr J.Hogan : Well your mom does.

Dr J.Hogan : What do you expect to find on this patient's post-mortem?
Callum : A body.

Dr J.Hogan : Which coronary artery do you choose to get blocked so you won't die?
Somebody : Right circumflex artery
Dr J.Hogan : THERE IS NO RIGHT CIRCUMFLEX ARTERY, THERE'S ONLY A LEFT ONE.

Dr J.Hogan : So what happened to this guy?
Somebody : He got a heart attack.
Dr J.Hogan : Yes, but that's what you tell your mom. What's the proper medical term for it?


LOL

this is not going on too well.

i'm still not asleep. might as well wait for Subuh.

aahhhh i hate it when i rant like this site is a freaking diary such as in that entry below. will probably hate it enough to save it as draft soonish. i have tons of crap saved as draft because i felt too vulnerable letting people venture that deep into my brain.


i need to rectify my sleeping pattern. though i'm pretty sure that that's not even remotely possible.

oh God. she's still up.

dear blog,

don't puke just yet. i know i know, i write too much. i'm sorry. i'm trying to talk less so i need another outlet. i'm writing this so i'd remember how i feel, if i ever find myself in doubt again some time in the future.

tajuk kita hari ini ialah 'Have You Ever Questioned Yourself On Whether You Really Want To Do Medicine'. inorite. so catchy omg.

anyway. have i thought about dropping out? millions of times. there were a bunch of people who dropped out of class after first year. some found out that it's not quite their thing. some failed to cope. some just never really wanted to be there in the first place.

but those are Irish people. they pay only about 1% of the amount of fees we're paying, for the exact same thing. and they're only 18. they have the luxury of trying a course and then just go 'oh crap, this is so not my thing'...then change to Business Studies, or Arts and Literature, or something.

i'm twenty two this year. and i'm on scholarship, which means i'm spending the taxpayers' money...and i've signed the papers. i can't just bail out. literally, i can't.

so what i did was i pushed all the doubt to the back of my head, hold my chin up and moved on. but now, nearly three years into the course...i find myself head over heels with medicine. it's hard, but it is also fascinating, intriguing. now, when i think about it - i can't imagine myself being anything other than a doctor. i don't want to end up saying 'i could've been a doctor'. i want to be able to say 'i am a doctor'. i do, i desperately do.

i nearly went crazy the summer before last. i wanted to drop out of college, i wanted to run away, i wanted to ride my bike to the middle of the road and get hit by a car, and i wanted to die. no kidding. i was living at Kak Rose's apartment which was on the fourth floor and i kept wondering whether i would die if i jumped off the balcony. it's a stressful course, and if you know me well enough you can tell that i'm no iron lady. i cry ALL the freaking time and i'm ultra insecure. that failure nearly marked the end of me and it left a deep scar. i keep thinking i'm not good enough for this course, and no first class honors can erase that feeling.

i let fear get the best of me, and i can't keep on doing that. i just...i need to figure out how. for the time being i'm content and thankful that i now think of medicine as something i want to do, not something i have to do.


...and i have another problem (inorite, it seems neverending). i keep thinking my friends secretly hate me. i don't quite remember how i developed this paranoia but somehow i did. and i kept asking them whether they're mad at me, and they keep saying 'TAKLA, EH KAU KENAPE HA?' but i still think they hate me. sometimes i don't really want to talk to people outside my comfort zone because people usually take what i say the wrong way and end up hating me (BUT THAT'S PROBABLY JUST YOUR IMAGINATION LA ATIQAH PLEASE JANGAN DRAMA KAT SINI).

i've probably managed to scare you by now. i'm sorry. i'll stop.


selamat malam dunia.

(hari ni mase usrah blajar surah As-Syams, surah atiq suka baca masa smbahyang jemaah sampai mas ngan aza suke point out yg atiq die hard fan surah As-Syams. kak nang kate Rasulullah suka sangat surah tu so it made me happy :D)

exam was okay i guess. i dont know. there were lots of things that i kinda knew but not too sure about. God i hate negative marking. it's pure torture! i can't even make an intelligent guess without second guessing myself.

i still have anatomy this 18th. then come March, i'd have pathology and pharmacology exams - and worst of all is CP. CP is Clinical Practice which basically means everything under the sun - from history taking to physical examination to clinical anatomy to ahhhhh. and i suck at CP. i just...oh dear God. i'm just so scared. PLEASE DON'T FAIL PLEASE DON'T FAIL PLEASE DON'T FAIL.


i need some sleep. i slept at four yesterday. medicine is an insane course, but i want to do this. and i can. i can, okay. (kay Atiqah stop being crazy and GET SOME SLEEP FOR GOD'S SAKE GO TO BED NOW. NOW.)

kbai.

OH YES. YESYEYSBKJWH@*HUO)#WJ

Opie got Bank Negara scholarshiippp. i only know one person who's on Bank Negara scholarship and she's in LSE and i will die if Opie gets to LSE i mean YEAAAYY free accomodation in Londoonnnn. and and and we can go jalan-jalan together omg omg omg i'm so excited :D (haha yearite Atiqah, entah-entah Opie Si Hambar tu xnak pon gi jalanjalan dgn anda :( )

snow.

music : Black Tables by Other Lives.

Twilight

i like the fact that at the time when i wrote this people didn't even know what i was talking about and now twilight has become an obvious reference everywhere.

my catcher in the rye is missing and it makes me sad :(


ok i will stop being in denial that i'm studying medicine, not english. i will go to Pathology now.

it's snowing in England and it's snowing in Dublin. WHEN IS WINTER PLANNING TO MOVE ON?