the forgotten poem

salam wbt :)

i'm about to go to sleep, but i have to blog this first.

everyone in my batch has the same black organizer thing that they gave us in the freshers pack last year, and i kept mine safely among my other notebooks. somehow, my organizer ended up on the dressing table. i thought it was Mas's, and that she left it in my room during one of the many lepak sessions we had here. so after solat isyak, i told her to take the organizer back and she was surprised of how it turned up in my room. she flicked the pages and started reading out sentences that sounded vaguely familiar..

..i was caught off guard and didn't realize that she was reading out a diary entry i wrote last year that i have completely forgotten about. thankfully she had the decency to stop half way through and handed it back to me.

it was a poem that began with a quote from a text i got from a friend. it's quite funny, the way the poem is so intense but i didn't even remember writing it until after reading the whole thing. it was about a person, but i only managed to recall who i wrote it to after, like, two minutes of staring at it with a blank face. emotions...they fade away so quickly. it's only logical to not get carried away by them, once you see how irrelevant it becomes later on. i mean, i rarely even talk to the person anymore.

i do not usually write poems about people unless they're really special. and this person certainly was - is - i don't know - special in a lot of ways. not in that way, but in a way that i learn a lot about life and about myself from the bizarre incidents that brought us together - twice - and broke us apart - also twice. i'm not exactly proud of what happened, but neither do i regret it. i appreciate it, very much so. because without it, i won't be the person that i am now.

thank you ya Rabb, for showing me a better way to live.


muhasabah before tidow.
Atiq