of my grandfathers, part II

dear blog,
sometimes i write these type of posts, so i'd remember what happened in my life later on. this is because i tend to forget things. when i click through my post history, i already have some posts that i remember nothing of. i hope my readers won't misunderstand my motives. this is both a place for me to ramble and a place for me to log the whats and whens of my life.

Paternal Grandfather : Tokku

Location : Lapangan Terbang Sultan Ismail, Kota Bharu.

I held the door of the green Mercedes open for him as he struggled to get up. Then I walked beside him, pulling his cabin-size wheeled suitcase and holding his cane for him. I put my granddaughter-of-a-very-royal-somebody face on, so that people won't register me as his bibik or something. And I had my nicest outfit on, also for that same reason. The check-in counter was still closed. We walked to the seats and I sat down. He remained standing; no..pacing, more like it. Then he walked away, and when he came back he had this annoyed expression on his face;

"Bakpo Tokku?"
"mmhh...flight delay."
"Aik. FireFly tok hata notification pung?"

He sat down beside me. I stared at his shoes. The shoes caught my attention ever since he walked down the stairs with it on when we were in Ketani. To say the shoes were gorgeous would be an insult.

"Tok rajing tengok pung Tokku paka kasut ni...kasut baru ko Tokku?"
"Tok rajing tengok sebab Tokku tok rajing paka. Baru,"

He smiled; half proud, half sheepish. Then he took it off to show me the brand name printed inside it.

Bally

"Aik. Tokku beli mano kasut Bally? Berapo ni?" I didn't know you can buy Bally shoes in Kelate.
"Free" grins.
"Free? Sapo bagi ko Tokku?"
"Rajo,"
"Tahu pulok saiz kasut Tokku..."
"Samo saiz. Daley almari kasut Tokku tu ado dekat 15 pasey kasut, 2 pasey jah kot Tokku beli. Hok laing semo rajo bui."

He's always suddenly dropping random facts like that and not elaborating them. At least not to me. His royal past has always been such a mystery. I only know bits and parts of it.

Then he proceeded on to tell me of the ways to clean expensive shoes. As if I'm ever going to own one la kan. Nevaar.

"Ku Iz nok mari," he suddenly announced, after talking on the phone with Iz, my cousin.
"Iz? Iz ado sini eh? Habis doh kelas dio?"
"Tok tahu Tokku,"

Around 10 minutes later Iz came, clad in his white uniform. Then Tokku announced that he wants to have lunch; so Iz walked on his left, pulling the suitcase, and I walked on his right, his cane in my hand. I prevented melancholia from evading my senses when Iz and I had to slow our pace to match Tokku's. The days when I would become a patung bernyawa in Tokku's presence because I was so scared of him felt like a million years ago.

Tokku ordered Kuay Teow Soup, and all the while he was eating it, he went on and on explaining the way the Thais would cook the dish.

"Ore siye bubuh kakung jah"

"Ore siye tok bubuh carrot ginih"

"Ore siye bubuh meatballs"

etcetera.

When we went up to the cashier to pay, we were surprised because the sum was only RM18.

"Murohnyo?"
"Hargo staff," said the cashier, pointing at the blur-faced soon-to-be pilot Tengku Hafizuddin.



Maternal Grandfather : Tok Ayoh

I walked into the unlocked house and immediately saw a familiar male figure dead asleep in the middle of the house.

"Aaallliiii...." I called his name to wake him up, but in this creepy soft voice, just because I am an immature 21 year old.

It spooked him alright. His face when he woke up to my haunting voice: priceless.

"*grins* Bilo Ali balik? Tok oyak pung?"
"Baru jah sapa. Atiq mari wak gapo?"
"Temey Tok Ayoh wak check up. Ali balik bakpo?"
"Lamo tok jupo Tok Ayoh,"

Then we walked towards our grandparents' room, to find Tok Ayoh putting on his kopiah, ready to go out.

"Ayahnda gi hata Adik ngaji smeta, Tok Ayoh. Kejap lagi dio mari,"
"Adik ngaji kat mano?"
"SBJ,"

He walked slowly down the three steps and on towards the living room. Ali sat on a chair at the big table and I sat down a few seats away from him. We watched in silence as Tok Ayah came into the room and slowly changed from his house sandals into his outdoor sandals. It was as if the whole world was in slow motion. Ali looked like he was in another realm altogether; I was ready to spring towards Tok Ayoh any time, as I eyed his unstable gait worryingly.

Some time later, the black Wira drove into the driveway. I held the car door open for him as he slowly gets himself on the car seat, and closed the door after him.

He gets on pretty well with the doctor. He never talked that much to me. I was never one of his favourite grandchild anyway. But I was fine with it, because I think he just generally prefer the boys and the little ones.

"Berapo jari ni?"
"So,"
"Okay...ikut jari sayo neh. Jangey gerok palo, ikut guno mato jah"
"mm.."
"Okay...pahtu, try pokcik jaley gi sano, pahtu mari sini smula,"

Tok Ayoh was obviously bemused by the things the doctor asked him to do. When he sat down, he had this half-hearted smile on his face, and said;

"Dulu maso sayo mudo-mudo..sokmo ore tanyo sayo, lorak nok gi mano tu? loni..."

My heart automatically sank.

I sat outside the hospital with Tok Ayoh as we waited for Ayahnda to get the car from the parking lot. Silence was all Tok Ayoh offered to me..but it wasn't an awkward silence. It's a meaningful silence, if that is even possible. It just..had a different aura.

"Tokwe, ni duit cucur daley plastik, ubat ni doktor suruh Tok Ayoh makey duo, tapi kalu tok raso huyung-hayey sangat, makey so jah,"

I didn't notice that Tok Ayoh had silently taken the plastic bag from me as I went on explaining his medications to my grandmother, and only realized this when he suddenly told me,

"Duit ni?"
"Duit cucur saknih,"
"Ambik ko Atiqlah,"

A granddaughter can hope that this is her grandfather's way of showing his affection. I can never know what the gesture actually meant.



- Atiq.

p.s: cucur = baki