The least we can do

Qunut Nazilah

“Ya Allah, Sesungguhnya kami meletakkan-Mu di batang-batang leher musuh-musuh kami,
Dan kami berlindung dengan-Mu daripada kejahatan-kejahatan mereka,
Ya Allah, Leburkanlah kumpulan-kumpulan mereka, pecah belahkan dan kacau bilaukan persatuan mereka,
Goncangkan pendirian mereka ,
Dan hantarkanlah anjing-anjing kamu kepada mereka,
Wahai tuhan yang gagah perkasa!
Wahai tuhan yang penuh raksasa!
Wahai tuhan yang bersifat murka!
Ya Allah! Ya Allah! Ya Allah! Ya Allah!
Wahai Tuhan yang menurunkan kitab,
Wahai Tuhan yang mengarakkan awan,
Wahai tuhan yang menewaskan bala tentera Al-Ahzab,
Kalahkan mereka!
Kalahkan mereka!

Kalahkan mereka Dan menangkan kami ke atas mereka!”

Tentera Israel menyerang konvoi kemanusiaan GAZA Freedom Flotilla. On board include people dari berbagai negara. Sebuah kapal datang dari Ireland. Para human rights activists dan mujahid Islam yang turut serta tiada satu senjata pun on board. Hanya makanan, ubatan, dan bantuan kemanusiaan yang lain. Apa yang 'Israel' takutkan sangat? Orang Yahudi memang pengecut. Dulu Allah suruh masuk Falestin, diorang suruh Nabi Musa pergi sendiri dengan Tuhan dia and then bila dah settle baru semula panggil diorang. Sekarang terhegeh-hegeh nak Falestin. Sampai bila pun takkan ada tanah untuk kaum paling kurang ajar dalam sejarah. Kemenangan zionist hanya sementara.

Berjuta muslim akan berdoa untuk kehancuran kau, 'Israel'.

Doa itu senjata kami.

Be afraid.


www.lifeline4gaza.org

edit : I know not all Jews are zionists. But Jews in general from the Quran memang kaum yang dilaknat.

rindulah mama

nak balik, cepatlah.

lamanya tak peluk mama.

lama tak mengada dengan mama. bila takde boyfriend, nak mengada dengan mama je. orang lain tak sanggup nak tahan.

kalau mengada lebih-lebih dengan kawan-kawan nanti diorang menyampah pulak...haha. macam zaman-zaman mrsm dulu. kesian atiq clueless kenapa orang menyampah, mana la tahu manusia biasa tak sanggup layan orang mengada macam atiq. manusia luar biasa dan tinggi tahap kesabaran je, contohnya cik mas siti aishah. tu pun sebab kitorang gilir-gilir manja. haha. mas pun sama je. dua kali lima, sepuluh. (hari tu mas bermonolog '11...tambah 8...18' atiq dah macam EY MAKCIK. SEMBILAN BELAS LAAA zzzz)

hishk mujahadah betul nak kawal kemanjaan bila cakap dengan guy friends. dulu main lepas mulut je (dan kena cop gedik...rofl) tapi sekarang bila dah konon-konon beriman (konon-konon sahaja...sebenarnya Tuhan je yang tahu. takpelah, sikit-sikit lama-lama jadi busut semut T__T) kenala kawal. kena jadi double standard, dengan girl friends boleh manja (yang terkawal kerana takut diorang menyampah), dengan guy friends kena stone. sekarang dah berjaya jugak jadi ala-ala stone, tapi kadang-kadang terlepas jugak out of habit.

ok dah subuh. boleh berhenti merepek, solat dan tidur yeay.


xoxo
Atiqah

p.s. kalau atiq remove guy friends from my reader list...tinggal 5 6 orang je kot eh orang kat blog ni? hehe. karang kena cop extreme pulak. extremist. fundamentalist. apa-apalah...sekarang ni, saya mengantukist.

the baby analogy

hi bloggiepoo.

tadi pagi kak yan bagi tazkirah, tajuk taqwa. very the different one, aura dapat tazkirah taqwa dari a pregnant woman :D

anyway I wanted to write about this analogy she told us. you know how there are many things that Allah asks us to do, that we don't wholly understand and sometimes don't really prefer doing, right.

I've always thought about it in (what I call) the Car Analogy, but I'm not going to go into that here because I have a few engineer readers who would, as is the usual Smartass way of my friends, correct my ignorant medical student ways of explaining the mechanics behind an automobile.

this morning kak yan gave us a better analogy - the Baby Analogy. contohnya, bayangkan kalau fetus dalam perut tu boleh borak-borak dengan mak dia, right. imagine when they start growing limbs (at week 5 ek Dr Fazrul? saya tak belajar O&G lagi), and then diorang cakap kat the mother;

'Maaa apebenda panjang-panjang ni, tak suka la, susah nak golek-golek. Nak cabut boleh tak?'

Then mestila mak dia cakap kat dia, tak boleh, nanti keluar kat dunia nanti ada benda nama Bola...kalau takde kaki macam mana nak main, macam mana nak jalan...best tau lari-lari.

Pastu anak dia cakap,

'Alaa takpe la, adik nak golek-golek je taknak lari'

Pastu mak dia mesti cakap lagi...tapi dunia luar ni cantik sangat...mesti best kalau dapat lari-lari atas rumput...kejar-kejar arnab *reka*

Do you follow me?

Kalau anak dia cakap 'tapi lambat lagi, 8 bulan lagi baru saya lahir' mesti mak dia cam WTF lah anak aku nih haih sabar je.

Dah la tu...ada je kemungkinan dia lahir premature, right.

The mother only wants the best for the baby, and the mother only advices the baby to do what's best for it to live in the world nanti, sebab baby tu tak tahu betapa luasnya dunia lepas dia lahir nanti, and betapa sempitnya sebenarnya womb yang dia suka sangat tu...



Allah bagi kita akal supaya kita jadi orang yang berfikir :)



‘Dan sungguh akan Kami isi neraka jahanam banyak dari kalangan jin dan manusia. Mereka mempunyai hati tetapi tidak dipergunakan untuk memahami ayat-ayat Allah. Dan mereka memiliki mata tetapi tidak dipergunakan untuk melihat tanda-tanda kekuasaan Allah, dan mereka mempunyai telinga tetapi tidak dipergunakan untuk mendengar ayat-ayat Allah. Mereka seperti haiwan ternak, bahkan lebih sesat lagi. Mereka itu orang-orang yang lengah.’

Al-A'raf : 179

Bukan seorang ustazah,
Langsung tidak sesuci yang lain,
Sekadar hamba yang kerap tersungkur
yang mencari ampunan dari Tuannya

Atiqah

safe and sound

alhamdulillah

hai blog.

hai blog. hai. hai.

(level keannoyingan saya di kehidupan sebenar apabila sedang hyper adalah lebih kurang ini)

so here I am, still living and breathing after that dinner with my patients. although I did fall sick directly after that, due to the scorching hot sun and mas's viral infection.

Jack is a freaking excellent cook, he's one of those food enthusiasts that knows a LOT about ingredients and asks questions like 'Do you like your vege well done, or crunchy?' (to which Loraine lovingly answered 'Just cook the damn vege!'). So naturally the dinner was amazing, with stuffed mushroom and sweet/spicy sauce served with lettuce and tomatoes, Jack's own recipe for Chow Mein noodles that tasted like teriyaki stir fry, and vanilla ice cream served in raspberry sauce and bananas (it's a three course meal! wooo.). mengapa semua orang pun excited nak sabotaj diet saya dikala wedding awah semakin tiba ini?

I'm glad I made time to go, Jack had a blast going on and on and on about the things he cooked for us, and he just kept chattering away. He must have longed for company, because I can't blame Loraine if she's a little bit disinterested to listen to his food banter - he goes in SO much detail! Must be tiring to listen to it all day long, 7 days a week.

He even packed me a goodie bag with the ingredients to the dish he made for me that evening, just in case I wanted to make them (they're really good!). He even gave me a whole bottle of pineapple chutney! I still prefer mango chutney though, but hey - I'm down with any good food.

When he was dropping me off at Fatin's house (oh, did I say? I asked Fatin to teman me for the dinner), guess what he did? HE GAVE US MONNAY. I wanted to give it back to him (as you do) but he insisted, and when I still refused to take it, he asked me to use part of it to buy something for Mama from Ireland. I didn't want to offend him, so I accepted it but not without threatening him that I don't want to see him and Loraine again if he intended to give me money a second time. He promised he wouldn't.

Guess how much he gave us?

E50 each @.@

Dah la tu, hari tu balik-balik je rumah, Adilah cakap pakcik Patrick (aka the Landlord) dropped by and said harga rumah jatuh, so dia bagi sewa bulan Julai kitorang free. This is Patrick we're talking about...yang baik hati tapi agak berkira orangnya, yang lepas dipujuk untuk kurangkan sewa summer (sebab Landlord orang lain mostly bagi half price utk summer), still refused. Tiba-tiba datang dan volunteer untuk bypass one month's rent.

Dikala I'm dead broke and don't really have money to buy anything for people at home and barely enough money to buy Awah's wedding present.

'……dan sesiapa yang bertakwa kepada Allah, nescaya Allah akan mengadakan baginya jalan keluar, Serta memberinya rezeki dari jalan yang tidak terlintas di hatinya dan (Ingatlah), sesiapa berserah diri bulat-bulat kepada Allah, maka cukuplah Allah baginya. Sesungguhnya Allah tetap melakukan segala perkara yang dikehendakiNya. Allah telahpun menentukan kadar dan masa bagi berlakunya tiap-tiap sesuatu.' - At-Talaq; 2-3

'Ayat Seribu Dinar'

Good night world
Atiqah

Potential foster parents?

Hey blog.

Thanks for putting up with my slightly insane mood swings/personality changes. I scare myself with it too, sometimes.

I got a dinner date with a patient tomorrow. Haha, saja je kan nak buat ayat ala-ala kontroversi begitu. No actually, it's a couple of patients; a married couple in their early 50s, if I'm not mistaken. Kejap lagi kena check balik my patient notes on them.

I met them while I was doing my GP rotation, and they seem to really...I don't know...like, me...for some reason. I do not know what this alleged Reason is.

Jack, the husband, visited the GP again a couple of days after I met the couple for the first time, just to drop their address and number for me, telling me they can be my patients if I ever needed to do a case write up or things like that, and told me to call in for dinner some time. I was at first a little bit confused, tapi lepas tu rasa terharu pulak.

They don't have any children...I think that might have been a contributing factor for their eagerness to have me over for dinner...I don't know. So I called them yesterday, because I'm done with the summer exams and I promised myself I would go over to their place before I go home for summer.

They even insisted to buy Halal meat (somehow they know the local Halal meat shop) to cook for me, despite my protests and suggestions of a spuds and vege dinner.

Don't be concerned about my safety, they're my patients...I know enough about their respective medical conditions to be sure that I can overpower the two of them biiznillah if needs be. But I'm pretty sure they're genuinely nice, in a cute Irish kind of way. So don't worry kay.

xoxo
Atiqah

Dan bila hidup dah kesusahan, barulah kau nak ingat Tuhan

Assalamualaikum blog.

Hai blog.

Apa khabar blog.

Ini sebuah entry rempit dari aku. Suka hati laaa...tengah mood rempit, nak buat camane.

Heh...dah habis exam ni, nak buat apa? Tunggu result keluar...melangut-langut melihat alam. Pelik aku dengan diri sendiri. Bukit iman dan futur aku tak boleh blah. Bezanya, Tuhan yang tahu. Senang je nak tengok...tengok aku kurang ajar tak dengan kakak aku yang nombor dua tu. Masa iman aku tengah ok, aku ok la dengan dia. Kalau iman aku tengah ko, memang mulut macam takde insurans, main belasah je cakap dengan dia. Ye lah, memang la kakak nombor dua aku tu sengal sikit, cepat melenting jugak. Adik-beradik aku semua bekeng, level kebekengan je yang lain-lain. Apa-apa pun, kakak nombor dua aku tu, jauh lagi tua dari aku. Kena la jugak aku hormat sebagai yang lebih tua, aku suka ke tak suka ke.

Korang...tabah betul menerima mood aku yang tukar-tukar ni kan. Aku rasa, aku ada split personality. Sekejap perangai aku macam ni, sekejap macam tu. Kadang-kadang aku sendiri pun lose track.

Kalau tengok dalam dunia ni...ada macam-macam jenis orang. Ada orang 'alim' woh, sangat sensitive tentang isu agama Islam. kalau orang lukis nabi Muhammad, dia pergi bakar bangunan tu, bakar bangunan ni (walaupun bangunan tu takde kena mengena dengan tukang yang lukis) dia mengamuk situ, mengamuk sini. Tapi kalau kita tanya dia, semayang jumaat tak bang? Belum tentu jawapannya ya. Tu baru satu waktu dalam satu hari. Belum lagi lima waktu dalam lima hari.

Ada pulak, orang yang semayang dia lengkap. Lengkap habis, walaupun dia ni pergi clubbing (bukan minum arak pun, pergi nak menari je! menari......) tapi kalau subuh tu orang lain liat nak mati nak bangun...dia yang bangun dulu! Mantap woh. Aku kadang-kadang liat jugak nak bangun subuh...old habits die hard. hisy. Bertuah punya Atiqah. Anyway...orang macam ni, bagus kan dia? Orang tengok dia macam ke laut...tapi sebenarnya entah-entah dia ni semayang lagi banyak dari orang yang label dia ke laut tu.

Tapi. Cukup ke dengan semayang sahaja? Allah cakap, sembahyang sepatutnya jadi kubu, akan jadi penghalang untuk kita dari membuat dosa. So...kalau sembahyang tu tak menghalang kita dari buat dosa...maka sembahyang kita tak betul. Kan? Betul tak deductive logic aku ni?

'...Sesungguhnya solat itu mencegah dari perbuatan keji dan mungkar...' 29:45

Sembahyang...kalau kita kumat kamit baca surah, tunggang tonggek sujud bangun, tapi kita tak faham satu habuk pun yang kita baca...tak rasa cam...cam...for the lack of a better word, bodoh, tak? Imagine kalau orang putih tanya, kau semayang baca bahasa apa? Kita pun jawab, bahasa Arab. Pastu dia tanya lagi...kau faham tak kau baca apa? Kalau kita jawab, err..errr...tak..mesti orang putih tu akan pandang rendah dah kat kita, sebab amalkan benda yang kita sendiri tak faham hujung pangkalnya. Kisah ni, kisah benar. Aku la tu. Yang bodoh tu. Aku. Nasib baik aku datang sini, orang kafir yang curious ada ramai. Diorang tanya aku macam-macam. Aku pun baru terhegeh-hegeh nak cari jawapan.

'...hanya pada Engkaulah kami mohon pertolongan. Tunjukilah kami jalan yang lurus. (Iaitu) Jalan orang yang telah Engkau beri nikmat kepadanya; bukan (jalan) mereka yang dimurkai, dan bukan (pula jalan) mereka yang sesat.'

Hari-hari baca ni (hari-hari ke?), tapi lepas tu pergi buat dosa. Perangai apa niiii???? Hesy. Sabar je Allah dengan kau. Dan aku.

Bertaubatlah, selagi dunia masih belum kiamat.

Ada apa sangat dengan nikmat kat dunia ni? Dengan kecantikan, dengan harta, dengan pangkat, dengan nama? Semuanya sementara. Kita, kita umat akhir zaman.

Katakanlah: "Jika bapa-bapa kamu, dan anak-anak kamu, dan saudara-saudara kamu, dan isteri-isteri (atau suami-suami) kamu, dan kaum keluarga kamu, dan harta benda yang kamu usahakan, dan perniagaan yang kamu bimbang akan merosot, dan rumah-rumah tempat tinggal yang kamu sukai, - (jika semuanya itu) menjadi perkara-perkara yang kamu cintai lebih daripada Allah dan RasulNya dan (daripada) berjihad untuk agamaNya, maka tunggulah sehingga Allah mendatangkan keputusanNya (azab seksaNya); kerana Allah tidak akan memberi petunjuk kepada orang-orang yang fasik (9:24)



Kenapa tiba-tiba aku tulis entry ceramah ni? Kalau tak, before-before ni...letak video lagu lah, entry takde tujuan lah, ape maknenek lagi lah aku merepek.

Aku sebenarnya tengah ceramah kat diri sendiri.

Aku...dah banyak belajar sejak aku datang sini. Tapi aku sengal jugak. Improve la jugak sikit-sikit. Hesy, lembab gila.

Sekali Allah uji aku. Kalau belajar surah al-Fajr...dalam tafsir fi-zilal tu...dia explain. Ujian Allah tu, bukan kayu ukur betapa sayang atau tidak Allah pada kita. Tapi, apa reaksi kita pada ujian tu yang akan menentukan segalanya.

Aku kena tabah. Aku kena tabah. Aku kena tabah.

Aku fail Pathology.

Autumn ni aku kena datang sini exam.

Summer ni aku kena bawak balik buku, belajar.

Aku kena tabah.


Atiqah

p.s. flow of thought aku memang selalu tak make sense...aku memang selalu kena verbal diarrhoea and suka lompat dari topik ni ke topik tu. sorry kalau pening baca entry ni.

p.p.s. nah, hadiah

p.p.p.s. kalau korang tak hebahkan kat orang yang aku fail, I'd appreciate that very much. Kalau Allah izinkan, insyaAllah aku pass autumn ni. I'll work my ass off this summer. I have no intention of repeating another year.

tl;dr - Bila kena uji, kena sabar, dan solat.

even if you hated Justin Bieber

you HAVE to love this Greyson kid.

1) because his voice is so incredible for a 12yo and
2) because his name has been a TT on Twitter for two days, and Bieber is off the list for two days juga and
3) because his name is GREYSON. I really want a copy of Will Grayson, Will Grayson :(




#pedo

Google things

I've always loved Google's 'I'm feeling lucky' button, and think it is witty and laidback for a company as massive as Google to do such thing.

I use Google Reader to read all the blogs I follow and all the newspapers/independent media that I attempt to follow, because it's just so much easier to keep up when everything is in one place. Yesterday I was trying to figure out how I can change the 'view' setting for my Google Reader, when I found the list of 'sort' settings...you know, the way windows have the 'arrange by type', 'arrange by size' etc for your folders. and I was so amused when I saw the options they gave me;

Sort by newest

Sort by oldest



...wait for it...



Sort by magic



needless to say, I clicked it straightaway.

can you believe it?

I flew over here about four years ago, slightly pissed about getting UCC and not Galway (and then realizing that UCC has a better medical school than NUIG) or at least Dublin where literally ALL my friends are. I wasn't close to anyone here, things were amazingly awkward with Syakur who hated me to the death, I couldn't understand what the HELL the locals are on about (Cork - worst Irish accent ever), and I struggled with nearly every single aspect of life - religion, friendship, love life, self esteem, school.

Fast forward to 2010, I'm still here, breathing, and not having any idea how I made it.

I might not be that exceptional person, and I do have a whole list of flaws that I'm not proud of and is still working on, but good God, how far have I come? I'm on the summer break of my third year, and it feels like I have grown so much as a person.

Truth be told, I am a little nervous about my finals because I did not fly through it and I do not have a list of honors in my continuous assessment like I did last year to save my sorry arse, but whatever happens, I'm going to push through, insyaAllah.

For the time being, I feel content.

And please do pray that I pass my summer exams so I can stay home longer in Ramadhan...I would appreciate it like you cannot imagine and I need it so, so much.

I haven't kissed my Mama on Aidilfitri for four years in a row.


Atiqah
Bishopstown, Cork
Republic of Ireland

epic Youtube song :)

I've had this song stuck in my head for quite a long time now, thought I should infect you with it. Remember this song? Yeah...the Kristina who made the video above, is the girl that other song is made for.

Kristina wrote Mrs Nerimon for Alex (nerimon is Alex's Youtube username), and Luke helped her write the song --> Kristina and Alex got together --> Kristina and Alex broke up --> Luke wrote Hey Kristina for Kristina --> Kristina and Luke got together, until today.

Watching Youtube is not unlike watching a tv show...except it's real.

I still have one lame Behavioral Sciences paper...nobody knows anything about it. We're going to do epic group cramming session beginning tomorrow morning insyaAllah.

Can't wait for this to be over!

p.s. this song is not serious, by the way :P

Tiba-tiba teringat macam mana dulu kalau Atiq mengada/mengadu kat Mama pasal something sambil tarik-tarik kain Mama (sebab masa tu pendek, sekarang dah tinggi...sikit), mula-mula Mama layan tapi bila Atiq meleret-leret mengada (typical) nanti Mama mesti marah, pastu mesti tiba-tiba Mama nangis sama...pastu mesti Atiq emo peluk Mama sampai Mama ok balik. Scene ni mesti jadi masa Mama tengah basuh pinggan kat dapur.

Bila fikir balik, peritnya Mama besarkan kami lapan orang. Sekarang baru faham Mama mesti breakdown masa tu sebab banyak sangat benda going on/stress sangat, pastu anak dia nombor empat ni annoyingnya masyaAllah sakit kepala nak layan. Sigh.

Kesian Mama.

Atiq sayang Mama.

-sambung belajar Patho-

Selamat Hari Mama

"Hello.."

"Hello Ma!"

"Hellooo...??"

"HEELLLLOOO...MAMAAAAA"

"Tiq! Aaa...ado pung..terima kasih atas ucapan Selamat Hari Ibu...yang terawal sekali,hehehe...awal sehari..."

"Aaa...awal sehari ko? Atiq tok tahu pun hari ni hari gapo, Atiq tahu tarikh jah, sebab Atiq tok gi skoloh doh key. Mamaaaa....bilo exam nok habih ni....susoh..."

"Sokmo nah gini Atiq gak kalu prekso...takpola, kalu letih belajar, baco la Qur'an...baco bismillah...buleh la tu..."

"AAaaaAaaaaa *making incomprehensible sounds*"

-5 minutes into the conversation-

"Mama, Atiq nok makey goreng pisey nati balik..."

"Hahaha...nati kito beli neh.."

"Mama beli laaa siak siak nati Atiq sapaaa..."

"Ok ok nati mama beli...tiqtiq nok makey gapo lagi?"

"Goreng pisey jah...mamaaaaa....lambatnyo lagi nok balikkkk..."

"aiyyyaaaa..."

"K lah mama, Atiq nok keno sambung study,"

"Ok tiqtiq....mama sayang atiq..."

"Atiq sayang mama. Bye ma, assalamualaikum"

"waalaikummussalam..."



Kasih seorang Mama, tiada tandingnya. Sabar seorang Mama, melayan anak yang dah besar panjang tapi mengada tahap dewa, tiada gantinya. Hidup Atiq sederhana, tidak terlalu beruntung dan tidak terlalu malang. Tapi disebabkan Atiq ada seorang Mama dalam hidup Atiq...Atiq akan sentiasa jadi orang yang sangat bertuah. Terlalu beruntung.

Selamat Hari Mama, Mama.
Walau apa yang terjadi, Mama sentiasa akan ada Atiq, insyaAllah.



Mas : Who needs a boyfriend when you have a mom like this?

ROFL

with no point what so ever

It was sunny outside the building as I walked down the stairs in my white coat, the grey/green stethoscope hanging loosely around my neck. Walking through a whole crowd of my classmates, all loudly and animatedly telling stories about how their respective OSCEs went, I found a vacant spot to throw all my stuff down and lazily changed into my light spring coat. Nathan, Carol, Emma and Bilal were all close by, exhaling exasperated breathes among them about the 'Tired All the Time' history taking station. I gave a polite smile and threw in a few sentences before gathering up my things again and waving them goodbye.

I don't know why I felt so forlorn. The OSCEs went grand for me. If Allah allows it, I will at least get a pass. I've done worse in previous OSCEs and get 2nd class honors for it. This is the Summer OSCE, however, so marking criterias must be tougher.

I was walking down College Road with my head hanging down (I don't know why!), in a defeated attitude, almost. The pedestrian lights were red when I reached O'Dennehy's cross. I stood there, shifting my weight to my (shorter) left leg because I'm always putting more weight on my right one. My eyes were squinting when I looked up, because the bright summer sun was shining directly at me. It was then that I saw a very pretty sight across the road.

There was a school girl, clad in a blue sweater, blue short skirt, and black leggings (that's the uniform for the local all girls school), with her long pale blond hair softly dancing with the wind. She was standing beneath a tall cherry blossom tree in full bloom, and its small pink flowers were slowly falling on her. I just stood there and stared at how pretty this sight was, and was slightly startled when the pedestrian light turned green and began to beep.

It made me feel slightly better...until I walked into Wilton Road and saw that the dead little bird I saw there 3 days ago are still lying there on the sidewalk.

That killed it.

breaks my heart

the other day, somehow our conversation lead to me telling Luke about Anis and how her passing drastically changed the dynamics of the sisterhood amongst the rest of us, and he quietly said;

'She gave you and your sisters a beautiful gift,'

it was the first time I saw it that way, and it felt...serene, almost.

Love.