H1N1 - These are dangerous days to live in.

We were having lunch at Sri Chengmai that afternoon. Tokku, Ayahnda, Didie and I. Tokku is now bald. He was starting to lose his hair from chemo, so he shaved off his whole head. It's hard to get used to it, I have never seen him bald all my life.

As the food was still arriving, Ayahnda had a phonecall. It was Mama. She called to tell him Adik's teacher called her, asking her to bring Adik home. Adik had a fever. We panicked. And when I say we panicked...I mean we panicked. But Tokku had to eat his lunch, and he asked Didie and I to finish the food, so we did. Ayahnda barely ate anything when he stopped and waited patiently for Tokku to finish his lunch. Didie and I shoved the food down our throats and whispered worrying thoughts to each other.

As soon as Tokku paid the bill, Ayahnda sped to Ketani and dropped Tokku off. I took three of Tokku's masks. He had them even before H1N1 broke out in Kelate because he was immunosuppressed. I wanted to give the mask to Ayahnda but he refused. So Didie and I wore them, and I clutched the spare one in my hands.

I ran into Zainab Satu as soon as the car stopped. The teacher who called told us Adik was in the musolla, so I headed there. All the students stared at me. Masked. Dressed up for the lunch with Tokku. Running.

When I couldn't find anyone in the musolla, I ran to the sickbay. And then somebody mentioned that they were at the hall. At this point of time, I wasn't computing anything in my brain. All I wanted to see was Adik. Dear God...I nearly typed Anis.

It was hell for me, that one hour of yesterday. I had to remain calm because Ayahnda was panicking, but the truth is I was scared to death. To death. The memories of those days when I was 14 years old came flooding back to me, and it was all still too vivid and real. I could never bear the pain of losing a sister ever, ever, again.

And then I saw her. Walking towards me, thoroughly confused. Lord knows how I felt at that moment. Everybody was staring at me. I hastily tied on the mask for Adik, took her bag and walked her to our car.

We then took her to a government clinic where she was declared fine because she doesn't have a flu, and she wasn't coughing. She's all well now. She's upstairs watching the pitchi pitchi peach cds Mushang gave her.


A simple fever.

This must be the end of time.



Atiqah.