of my grandfathers

so okay...this is one of the things i said i was worried about,

Mama called me a couple of days back, asking me to come back home this Summer because Tok Ayah and Tokku are both not in great health.. Now, i am pretty close to both my grandads...well, i'd like to think that i am~

Tokku is a man of status and protocol ("Makey tu biar ado tertik-terning sikik!" = "Makan tu biar ada tertib sikit!"). I used to be terrified of him as a child, because he would scold me for not using bahasa istana when conversing with him, or for having no table manners (lol). But as he grew old, he transforms into this really different person who's lighthearted and shares stories of his good old days with his grandchildren (while maintaining being the Veto of the family).

He would call us and ask whether we're busy, and proceeded on by insisting that he's just asking, and we would understand that he wants us to keep him company so we'll go for a sleepover to his house...and sometimes he would call us and ask us out for lunch/dinner, and we'd all get dressed and go out with him, even though he orders the same dish every single time :) ...and sometimes we'd call him and ask him out to dinner, and he'd still be the one paying, haha..we're so evil.

Tokku can be really sweet when he wants to...he once suddenly announced that he wants to eat at Hartini's (if you love food, or if you live in Shah Alam, you would know this place) and asked my cousin to drive him there, and then he whispered to me "Kito gi makey kat Hartini neh, sebak atiq kato atiq nok makey makaney melayu deh kemaring?" = "Kite gi makan kat Hartini ye, sebab atiq cakap atiq nak makan masakan melayu kan semalam?"

Tokku haven't been calling me like he used to...i used to call him but he had forbidden me from doing so, coz he said i don't have to waste my money for him, though how calling him is a waste of money, i do not know. He always says that he's doing fine everytime he calls, and he always asks me whether i have enough money over here, and he's always worried that i might be hiding the fact that i don't have enough money from him. No words i say can ever convince him that i have enough money to go by...~

Tok Ayah on the other hand, has not been well for quite some time now...he has Parkinson's disease..he's okay but he was really weak the last time i saw him..the last time i talked to Tokwe on the phone, Tokwe wanted to pass the phone to him but he said he was too tired to talk..

when i was small, Tok Ayah (it's actually Tok Ayoh, but it's weird seeing it spelled like that) was this huge strong man to me, the one that takes us in turns for a ride on his Vespa around his front lawn, the one that kaits the coconuts with that ultra long galah that i couldn't even hold up a few cms off the ground, the one that makes the chairs and tables in his house on his own, the one that made us wooden rocking horses, the one that made us congkaks...those were the days~

nowadays, he's still a sweet grandfather (and great-grandfather), even though he can't do stuff for me anymore, he still pats my head most of the time i salam him, and that is more than enough for this granddaughter of his.. :)

there is this time a couple of years back, when i accompanied him to this clinic (Ayahnda drove us) for his regular checkup, and afterwards, as we were walking to the car, there was this set of stairs, and i nearly burst out crying when he held my arms for support as he carefully step down the stairs..

it's really heartbreaking to remember that Tokwe and Tok Ayah actually cried when they were waving at me as i was driven away from my house (i was going to Shah Alam and then here)~

i haven't decided on what to do yet...to go back or not go back. to go back the whole of Summer or a half of Summer..as suggested by Kak Timah, i'll leave it off till later and see how things flow...as i really can't think of a solution right now..

this is actually the main thing that's bothering me...the song and whatnot are just like an exacerbating factor of sorts. i am easily bothered by things. it's a disease, i say.

you now officially have enough grandfather-granddaughter tales to last you an eternity, lol.
i don't know why i have been very very nostalgic lately..perhaps this is what they call homesickness...?~

till then.
assalamualaikum

p.s. when i say 'us' in this entry, i mean me and my sisters, and i have many many sisters so it can be any one of them, or more :)

p.p.s. yes, i know i need to stop saying lol.