it's the birthday of the people that only celebrates their birthday once in four years,
AND
because i got my exam results :)
:)
:)
:D
:D
Alhamdulillah :)
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
where..
..can i get a copy of Looking For Alaska by John Green here? somebody please tell me. i desperately want to read that book. i need my dose of intelligent novels. my grammar is getting worse, and my vocab is stagnant. i went to Wilton just now and lamented on whether i should buy The Book Thief or We Should Talk About Kevin, but decided against it.
having said that, i do have books on my reading list right now.
i am in a reading mood.
ZOMG i blog everyday.
having said that, i do have books on my reading list right now.
i am in a reading mood.
ZOMG i blog everyday.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
of my grandfathers
so okay...this is one of the things i said i was worried about,
Mama called me a couple of days back, asking me to come back home this Summer because Tok Ayah and Tokku are both not in great health.. Now, i am pretty close to both my grandads...well, i'd like to think that i am~
Tokku is a man of status and protocol ("Makey tu biar ado tertik-terning sikik!" = "Makan tu biar ada tertib sikit!"). I used to be terrified of him as a child, because he would scold me for not using bahasa istana when conversing with him, or for having no table manners (lol). But as he grew old, he transforms into this really different person who's lighthearted and shares stories of his good old days with his grandchildren (while maintaining being the Veto of the family).
He would call us and ask whether we're busy, and proceeded on by insisting that he's just asking, and we would understand that he wants us to keep him company so we'll go for a sleepover to his house...and sometimes he would call us and ask us out for lunch/dinner, and we'd all get dressed and go out with him, even though he orders the same dish every single time :) ...and sometimes we'd call him and ask him out to dinner, and he'd still be the one paying, haha..we're so evil.
Tokku can be really sweet when he wants to...he once suddenly announced that he wants to eat at Hartini's (if you love food, or if you live in Shah Alam, you would know this place) and asked my cousin to drive him there, and then he whispered to me "Kito gi makey kat Hartini neh, sebak atiq kato atiq nok makey makaney melayu deh kemaring?" = "Kite gi makan kat Hartini ye, sebab atiq cakap atiq nak makan masakan melayu kan semalam?"
Tokku haven't been calling me like he used to...i used to call him but he had forbidden me from doing so, coz he said i don't have to waste my money for him, though how calling him is a waste of money, i do not know. He always says that he's doing fine everytime he calls, and he always asks me whether i have enough money over here, and he's always worried that i might be hiding the fact that i don't have enough money from him. No words i say can ever convince him that i have enough money to go by...~
Tok Ayah on the other hand, has not been well for quite some time now...he has Parkinson's disease..he's okay but he was really weak the last time i saw him..the last time i talked to Tokwe on the phone, Tokwe wanted to pass the phone to him but he said he was too tired to talk..
when i was small, Tok Ayah (it's actually Tok Ayoh, but it's weird seeing it spelled like that) was this huge strong man to me, the one that takes us in turns for a ride on his Vespa around his front lawn, the one that kaits the coconuts with that ultra long galah that i couldn't even hold up a few cms off the ground, the one that makes the chairs and tables in his house on his own, the one that made us wooden rocking horses, the one that made us congkaks...those were the days~
nowadays, he's still a sweet grandfather (and great-grandfather), even though he can't do stuff for me anymore, he still pats my head most of the time i salam him, and that is more than enough for this granddaughter of his.. :)
there is this time a couple of years back, when i accompanied him to this clinic (Ayahnda drove us) for his regular checkup, and afterwards, as we were walking to the car, there was this set of stairs, and i nearly burst out crying when he held my arms for support as he carefully step down the stairs..
it's really heartbreaking to remember that Tokwe and Tok Ayah actually cried when they were waving at me as i was driven away from my house (i was going to Shah Alam and then here)~
i haven't decided on what to do yet...to go back or not go back. to go back the whole of Summer or a half of Summer..as suggested by Kak Timah, i'll leave it off till later and see how things flow...as i really can't think of a solution right now..
this is actually the main thing that's bothering me...the song and whatnot are just like an exacerbating factor of sorts. i am easily bothered by things. it's a disease, i say.
you now officially have enough grandfather-granddaughter tales to last you an eternity, lol.
i don't know why i have been very very nostalgic lately..perhaps this is what they call homesickness...?~
till then.
assalamualaikum
p.s. when i say 'us' in this entry, i mean me and my sisters, and i have many many sisters so it can be any one of them, or more :)
p.p.s. yes, i know i need to stop saying lol.
Mama called me a couple of days back, asking me to come back home this Summer because Tok Ayah and Tokku are both not in great health.. Now, i am pretty close to both my grandads...well, i'd like to think that i am~
Tokku is a man of status and protocol ("Makey tu biar ado tertik-terning sikik!" = "Makan tu biar ada tertib sikit!"). I used to be terrified of him as a child, because he would scold me for not using bahasa istana when conversing with him, or for having no table manners (lol). But as he grew old, he transforms into this really different person who's lighthearted and shares stories of his good old days with his grandchildren (while maintaining being the Veto of the family).
He would call us and ask whether we're busy, and proceeded on by insisting that he's just asking, and we would understand that he wants us to keep him company so we'll go for a sleepover to his house...and sometimes he would call us and ask us out for lunch/dinner, and we'd all get dressed and go out with him, even though he orders the same dish every single time :) ...and sometimes we'd call him and ask him out to dinner, and he'd still be the one paying, haha..we're so evil.
Tokku can be really sweet when he wants to...he once suddenly announced that he wants to eat at Hartini's (if you love food, or if you live in Shah Alam, you would know this place) and asked my cousin to drive him there, and then he whispered to me "Kito gi makey kat Hartini neh, sebak atiq kato atiq nok makey makaney melayu deh kemaring?" = "Kite gi makan kat Hartini ye, sebab atiq cakap atiq nak makan masakan melayu kan semalam?"
Tokku haven't been calling me like he used to...i used to call him but he had forbidden me from doing so, coz he said i don't have to waste my money for him, though how calling him is a waste of money, i do not know. He always says that he's doing fine everytime he calls, and he always asks me whether i have enough money over here, and he's always worried that i might be hiding the fact that i don't have enough money from him. No words i say can ever convince him that i have enough money to go by...~
Tok Ayah on the other hand, has not been well for quite some time now...he has Parkinson's disease..he's okay but he was really weak the last time i saw him..the last time i talked to Tokwe on the phone, Tokwe wanted to pass the phone to him but he said he was too tired to talk..
when i was small, Tok Ayah (it's actually Tok Ayoh, but it's weird seeing it spelled like that) was this huge strong man to me, the one that takes us in turns for a ride on his Vespa around his front lawn, the one that kaits the coconuts with that ultra long galah that i couldn't even hold up a few cms off the ground, the one that makes the chairs and tables in his house on his own, the one that made us wooden rocking horses, the one that made us congkaks...those were the days~
nowadays, he's still a sweet grandfather (and great-grandfather), even though he can't do stuff for me anymore, he still pats my head most of the time i salam him, and that is more than enough for this granddaughter of his.. :)
there is this time a couple of years back, when i accompanied him to this clinic (Ayahnda drove us) for his regular checkup, and afterwards, as we were walking to the car, there was this set of stairs, and i nearly burst out crying when he held my arms for support as he carefully step down the stairs..
it's really heartbreaking to remember that Tokwe and Tok Ayah actually cried when they were waving at me as i was driven away from my house (i was going to Shah Alam and then here)~
i haven't decided on what to do yet...to go back or not go back. to go back the whole of Summer or a half of Summer..as suggested by Kak Timah, i'll leave it off till later and see how things flow...as i really can't think of a solution right now..
this is actually the main thing that's bothering me...the song and whatnot are just like an exacerbating factor of sorts. i am easily bothered by things. it's a disease, i say.
you now officially have enough grandfather-granddaughter tales to last you an eternity, lol.
i don't know why i have been very very nostalgic lately..perhaps this is what they call homesickness...?~
till then.
assalamualaikum
p.s. when i say 'us' in this entry, i mean me and my sisters, and i have many many sisters so it can be any one of them, or more :)
p.p.s. yes, i know i need to stop saying lol.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
it's approaching 2am
i thought i wanted to go back to sleep but i mistakenly came across this song that held a bejillion memories and it kinda drove me crazy so here i am wide awake..
i wish this can work for, like, biochemistry or something. i would listen to a certain song while reading biochemistry, and so when i listen to it again years later, all those wonderful biochemistry memories would come all flooding back to me...
lol. now, that would be amazing !
i can put pictures away in boxes, i can stop wearing that shirt, i can throw away those ribbons, i can erase all those e-mails...but i can't do anything with these memories, it's stuck in my brain, like cheap paint from a wall stuck to a poster's cellotape. i can't get rid of it no matter how hard i try and no matter how much i want to. and i feel tugs to my heart everytime i'm reminded of them, and i can't figure out how to escape. i want to run away, but it stalks me still, like a sniper's gunpoint to its victim. i guess all i can do is force myself to sleep and wish everything vanishes come tomorrow.
i think we all can conclude by now, on my 75th post, that i am quite the weird girl no matter how hard i try to fake being normal.
x
Atiq
i wish this can work for, like, biochemistry or something. i would listen to a certain song while reading biochemistry, and so when i listen to it again years later, all those wonderful biochemistry memories would come all flooding back to me...
lol. now, that would be amazing !
i can put pictures away in boxes, i can stop wearing that shirt, i can throw away those ribbons, i can erase all those e-mails...but i can't do anything with these memories, it's stuck in my brain, like cheap paint from a wall stuck to a poster's cellotape. i can't get rid of it no matter how hard i try and no matter how much i want to. and i feel tugs to my heart everytime i'm reminded of them, and i can't figure out how to escape. i want to run away, but it stalks me still, like a sniper's gunpoint to its victim. i guess all i can do is force myself to sleep and wish everything vanishes come tomorrow.
i think we all can conclude by now, on my 75th post, that i am quite the weird girl no matter how hard i try to fake being normal.
x
Atiq
Sunday, February 24, 2008
warning: immature content
friends actions affect me so awfully much that it's annoying me. i so wish i'm immune to their antics.
a few phone calls and my day (that begun with a few pengisians on Palestine) turned upside down. i now have a couple of things worrying me that i wish not to tell because i refuse to complain about life as i'm sure there's a lot more people in the world that have bigger worries than me.
to you, if you're viewing my blog to see whether i've written anything about the phone conversation we had just now, know that i'm too nice to hate you forever. i'll forgive you tonight, but you're out of my life. i've deleted you from my phone, from my Friendster, and from my Yahoo address book. you have no idea how i wish i have magical powers to delete you from my brain cells.
you've dissapointed me greatly. i apologize for being so slow, i'm sure that this is what you've always wished for.
thank You Allah, for being very nice to me, the little girl with that torn past, and giving me a very bright day that cheered me up. it's the first time that i opened my bedroom window in a few months. i love You =)
a few phone calls and my day (that begun with a few pengisians on Palestine) turned upside down. i now have a couple of things worrying me that i wish not to tell because i refuse to complain about life as i'm sure there's a lot more people in the world that have bigger worries than me.
to you, if you're viewing my blog to see whether i've written anything about the phone conversation we had just now, know that i'm too nice to hate you forever. i'll forgive you tonight, but you're out of my life. i've deleted you from my phone, from my Friendster, and from my Yahoo address book. you have no idea how i wish i have magical powers to delete you from my brain cells.
you've dissapointed me greatly. i apologize for being so slow, i'm sure that this is what you've always wished for.
thank You Allah, for being very nice to me, the little girl with that torn past, and giving me a very bright day that cheered me up. it's the first time that i opened my bedroom window in a few months. i love You =)
Friday, February 22, 2008
i hate having to come up with a title. so none for you today, hah!
you would think that after the Syahadatul Haq weekend in Connemara, the Islamic Aspiration Week, and the International Culture's Week, i'd have loads to write about and pictures to show. but i got too lazy and my house received a visit from a semi-lunatic girl from France (hehe just kidding, she's lovely).
Connemara was GORGEOUS! I absolutely love that we have the ocean and mountains as our background the whole time we were there, and i also love (and somewhat scared) that most of the Second and First Years of UCC went to the program. it was a life-turning (that somehow sounds wrong...) event for me last year and i really wanted to share the experience with everyone. I am still, however, too scared to write a post on the content of it, for fear of causing more bad than good with my magical ability to produce berbelit-belit sentences that most of the time will end up being misunderstood. maybe one day i'll draft it and test it on a few people and then publish it or something.
There was a lot of technical difficulties along the program, which i think comes from the fact that a lot of the people running it are first-timers and are still learning. i hope the participants didn't think it as too bad, huehue. what was i appointed as, you might ask? well, i was the official photographer. which means, i don't get to be in a lot of pics and i don't get to be candid-captured. *sigh. anyways. i thought it's gonna be an easy one, being a photographer. but i ended up taking loads of pictures of the people i know and little of the ones i don't know - which beats the whole point of the job, which is to take pics of the participants and make a video before the program ends so they'd feel appreciated. adoiiiila atiqah. but i tried so hard to be fair, janji tak tipu! will do better next time insyaAllah :/
i wanna go on telling about the Islamic Awareness Week, but a LOT of stuff went on during that one, and i think i'd have to dedicate a whole entry to that one if i wanna write about it.
i have a question for my readers; do you think it is safe that the people who read this blog knows my full name, where i come from, and where i study? do you think i should delete all my personal infos from this blog? do you think i should remove my blog from the search engine listing?~ help!
speaking of search engines...quite a number of people stumbled upon my blog when they were googling mefac tabs. for these people: mefac tabs are a commercial name of a drug that contains mefacatamine acid (or something to that effect- i haven't learned Pharmacology yet!), and i think it's only produced and circulated in Ireland, that's why you're not finding an awful lot of infos about it on the net. all i can say is- they're pretty strong painkillers.
THIS HAS BEEN A VERY BORING ENTRY, I AM VERY VERY SORRY ABOUT THAT - THE BUSY-NESS OF THE PAST FEW WEEKS HAS CAUSED ME TO BECOME EVEN MORE UNINTERESTING THAN I ALREADY AM, IF THAT'S EVEN POSSIBLE.
THIS IS ATIQAH SIGNING OFF, AND SHE LOVES WRITING IN CAPS BECAUSE IT'S ANNOYING.
assalamualaikum :]
Connemara was GORGEOUS! I absolutely love that we have the ocean and mountains as our background the whole time we were there, and i also love (and somewhat scared) that most of the Second and First Years of UCC went to the program. it was a life-turning (that somehow sounds wrong...) event for me last year and i really wanted to share the experience with everyone. I am still, however, too scared to write a post on the content of it, for fear of causing more bad than good with my magical ability to produce berbelit-belit sentences that most of the time will end up being misunderstood. maybe one day i'll draft it and test it on a few people and then publish it or something.
There was a lot of technical difficulties along the program, which i think comes from the fact that a lot of the people running it are first-timers and are still learning. i hope the participants didn't think it as too bad, huehue. what was i appointed as, you might ask? well, i was the official photographer. which means, i don't get to be in a lot of pics and i don't get to be candid-captured. *sigh. anyways. i thought it's gonna be an easy one, being a photographer. but i ended up taking loads of pictures of the people i know and little of the ones i don't know - which beats the whole point of the job, which is to take pics of the participants and make a video before the program ends so they'd feel appreciated. adoiiiila atiqah. but i tried so hard to be fair, janji tak tipu! will do better next time insyaAllah :/
i wanna go on telling about the Islamic Awareness Week, but a LOT of stuff went on during that one, and i think i'd have to dedicate a whole entry to that one if i wanna write about it.
i have a question for my readers; do you think it is safe that the people who read this blog knows my full name, where i come from, and where i study? do you think i should delete all my personal infos from this blog? do you think i should remove my blog from the search engine listing?~ help!
speaking of search engines...quite a number of people stumbled upon my blog when they were googling mefac tabs. for these people: mefac tabs are a commercial name of a drug that contains mefacatamine acid (or something to that effect- i haven't learned Pharmacology yet!), and i think it's only produced and circulated in Ireland, that's why you're not finding an awful lot of infos about it on the net. all i can say is- they're pretty strong painkillers.
THIS HAS BEEN A VERY BORING ENTRY, I AM VERY VERY SORRY ABOUT THAT - THE BUSY-NESS OF THE PAST FEW WEEKS HAS CAUSED ME TO BECOME EVEN MORE UNINTERESTING THAN I ALREADY AM, IF THAT'S EVEN POSSIBLE.
THIS IS ATIQAH SIGNING OFF, AND SHE LOVES WRITING IN CAPS BECAUSE IT'S ANNOYING.
assalamualaikum :]
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Atheists are emotionally tiring
i know i should be more patient with them and help them through.
but honestly, they come up with a bejillion misunderstandings about religion that they're so sure of, and when i try to explain it, they attack even more based on my sentences. get THIS: I AM NOT A NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER! so get over it when i use a couple of imperfect words to explain some things.
aaargh.
it is SO frustrating, reading their e-mails. they're full of false thoughts on religion, they're typed in english sentences so complex that i have to read it, like, ten friggin times before i think i get what in the world the point is, and they're just - urgh.
what, you worry about 'religion being given a free reign which can have disasterous consequences on real people'...? oh well well, congratulations. i can see your point quite clearly. i mean, the world as it is now, with powerful countries being given a free reign, is WONDERFUL, right? i mean, all the wars, oppression, colonization, mass killings, earth destruction, global warming..such PEACE and so FULL OF LOVE. You, sir, is well aware of what's going on in the world, i can see.
this time i won't even bother worrying the other committee members about what to reply to them. these people- they'll go on debating no matter what i say, and i have no interest in debating about religion. it needs some simple listening and observation. it needs the will to learn a very sensitive topic without prior judgements.
i know not all atheists are like this. so if you're an atheist and you're reading this, and you're getting ready for this post to end so you can start typing comments on how offended you are...do the world a favour and stop. if you're not like this, then i'm not talking about you. get over it.
i'm sorry that this is an angry post, and i'm sorry i'm lashing out on atheists here even when i know none of my readers are atheists.
i just wish that - urghhhhhh. I'M SO MAAAADDDDD. AND FRUSTRATED. AND ANGRY. AND AND AND ADADNSFLWBQUBF;EKJNDSBFALUFB8OQRH92NJD.
THE END.
but honestly, they come up with a bejillion misunderstandings about religion that they're so sure of, and when i try to explain it, they attack even more based on my sentences. get THIS: I AM NOT A NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER! so get over it when i use a couple of imperfect words to explain some things.
aaargh.
it is SO frustrating, reading their e-mails. they're full of false thoughts on religion, they're typed in english sentences so complex that i have to read it, like, ten friggin times before i think i get what in the world the point is, and they're just - urgh.
what, you worry about 'religion being given a free reign which can have disasterous consequences on real people'...? oh well well, congratulations. i can see your point quite clearly. i mean, the world as it is now, with powerful countries being given a free reign, is WONDERFUL, right? i mean, all the wars, oppression, colonization, mass killings, earth destruction, global warming..such PEACE and so FULL OF LOVE. You, sir, is well aware of what's going on in the world, i can see.
this time i won't even bother worrying the other committee members about what to reply to them. these people- they'll go on debating no matter what i say, and i have no interest in debating about religion. it needs some simple listening and observation. it needs the will to learn a very sensitive topic without prior judgements.
i know not all atheists are like this. so if you're an atheist and you're reading this, and you're getting ready for this post to end so you can start typing comments on how offended you are...do the world a favour and stop. if you're not like this, then i'm not talking about you. get over it.
i'm sorry that this is an angry post, and i'm sorry i'm lashing out on atheists here even when i know none of my readers are atheists.
i just wish that - urghhhhhh. I'M SO MAAAADDDDD. AND FRUSTRATED. AND ANGRY. AND AND AND ADADNSFLWBQUBF;EKJNDSBFALUFB8OQRH92NJD.
THE END.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Islamic Aspiration Week
this entry comes in 5 parts.
Part 1:
ISN'T IT ABOUT TIME KAKWE NOTICES I WROTE HER A BLOG ENTRY ALREADY?
hehe.
Part 2:
IAW is coming, if you live in around here YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY COME. WHY AM I WRITING IN CAPS okay i should stop.
the schedule is actually pretty good. We have talks by Harun Yahya and a movie screening of Occupation 101 which is REALLY good and is totally a MUST-WATCH for those who doesn't know much about the whole Israeli-Palestinian crisis and wants to know about it. There'll also be exhibitions and bucket collections for AIDS going on on campus (share the love!) so feel free to come and support us!
Part 3:
Yesterday I went out to Wilton to give out pamphlets of IAW's schedule, and came up with some conclusions:
1) old people are nice. they take flyers.
2) do not judge goth people by their gothic-ness. they actually know how to smile.
3) smiling for nearly two hours drains the life out of you.
4) i'm never taking a part-time job that involve giving out flyers no matter how much they're paying. ever.
Part 4:
I Googled Yusuf Estes, a Protestant Preacher who reverted to Islam, and found out about a bunch of really cool sites. I'm putting links of them under my 'Showers of Wisdom' column on the sidebar, you most definitely should check them out!
Part 5:
I lied. there's just 4 parts. :p
assalamualaikum :)
Part 1:
ISN'T IT ABOUT TIME KAKWE NOTICES I WROTE HER A BLOG ENTRY ALREADY?
hehe.
Part 2:
IAW is coming, if you live in around here YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY COME. WHY AM I WRITING IN CAPS okay i should stop.
the schedule is actually pretty good. We have talks by Harun Yahya and a movie screening of Occupation 101 which is REALLY good and is totally a MUST-WATCH for those who doesn't know much about the whole Israeli-Palestinian crisis and wants to know about it. There'll also be exhibitions and bucket collections for AIDS going on on campus (share the love!) so feel free to come and support us!
Part 3:
Yesterday I went out to Wilton to give out pamphlets of IAW's schedule, and came up with some conclusions:
1) old people are nice. they take flyers.
2) do not judge goth people by their gothic-ness. they actually know how to smile.
3) smiling for nearly two hours drains the life out of you.
4) i'm never taking a part-time job that involve giving out flyers no matter how much they're paying. ever.
Part 4:
I Googled Yusuf Estes, a Protestant Preacher who reverted to Islam, and found out about a bunch of really cool sites. I'm putting links of them under my 'Showers of Wisdom' column on the sidebar, you most definitely should check them out!
Part 5:
I lied. there's just 4 parts. :p
assalamualaikum :)
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