Kau adalah darahku, kau adalah jantungku

Tokku passed away.

Tokku passed away.

It's not sinking in well. I saw his grave, I saw the leftover fresh milk and soy milk in the fridge. I saw the unopened pack of diapers for adults that Opie and I ran across Mydin to buy (both wearing kurungs), causing everyone to turn and stare in confusion.

At least this is better than when Anis passed away, I wasn't good to her, I didn't get to see her in the hospital, I didn't even remember what I said to her last.

Allah gave me a chance to do things the right way with Tokku. I was the last person to sleep beside him on his bed before he was admitted. I was the last person he had a real conversation with. I was the one who stood beside his bed in USM's A&E.

I was there. I was there for him. I was there for him and I'm glad.

He knew that I cared about him and I'm glad.

I never hear him say anything about me, but about two weeks before he went, he said 'hok nih hok baik sekali' to my uncle, pointing his hands to me.

I love you, Tokku. I hope you rest in peace.

Inna lillahi wainna ilaihi raaji'un.