zomg weird day

i'm deeply frustrated because

1. yesterday my ex mocked poked fun at me for having a license but not driving. i've always had a weird urge to strangle him.
2. today my dad is sick and dad and mom went out of their way to think of who would pick the kids up from school when there i was, sitting at home being miserable.


i told mom she should frame my driving license because why in the world should i hold on to it when they wont even let me drive on my own (well, Atiqah..how about for you to use for checking in at the airport when you don't have your i/c with you...?). yes i'm not good at driving but WHEN will i be good if they wont let me practice? please, name me a person that becomes an F1 material straightaway the moment they were put behind the wheels. i've only drove like 6 times since i came back, and that's only to places that i can literally walk to.

but my merajuk-ing worked when mom let me drove her car by myself with the kids...even if it's only to the kedai 5 minutes away, it's a start. when i become a mother, i'd buy my kids a cheap second hand car for them to practice driving, assuming i wont raise jerks that are too arrogant to drive cheap second hand cars, that is. and i wont be a traumatic parent that is too afraid to let the kids go anywhere in fear of them dying. because REALLY, i don't have to drown at a beach. i can die in my room if that's whats written for me.

emo girl signing out.
(this beating object in my chest...it's tiring me. take it out and hold on to it for a while for me, please?)