confuzzled

a couple of days ago Tokku told me he has an appointment with a cardiologist on the 25th, which is today. now you see, my Tokku, he's the type of person that doesn't ask directly for a favour. like if he wants my dad to go and buy something he'll say 'kalu Amud ado maso...' or 'kalu Amud nk gi kbmall...' eventhough he really wants my dad to buy it asap. apart from this, he's also the type of person that likes to play mind games; he likes to test people unbeknownst to them.

so when he said he has an appointment, i automatically thinks he wants me to come with, eventhough he never said so. so i offered to go with him, but he said the checkup'll take a long time. and yesterday when i asked him about it again, he repeated that it's going to take long and added that he's going at 8 in the morning. i somehow lead my confuzzled brain to think that he's testing me; that he wants to know whether i'm willing to sit around waiting for him. so i decided to go..i can always bring a book, and it's not like i have anything else to do anyways. but i didn't tell him this decision, and decided that i would just show up and tag along the next day.



BUT when i woke up this morning something else popped up in my fragile little mind (south park references ftw).

what if he said all those things because he doesn't want me to come with, and he's just too nice and tactful to be saying it directly. now, as this thought came to me, it suddenly seem like it makes much more sense than the previous complicated theory. so i decided not to go.


and just now as i was preparing lunch, i was beginning to worry whether i made the right decision or not...i don't want him to think i don't love him enough to be willing to wait around a few hours for him. *sigh*


...i think too much, don't i? i need to stop obsessing over this. i wish he would just tell me what he wants me to do, it would be so much easier.