it has always bugged me that..

..i can never write about the important events i went to, or current news that i cared about and know a lot on. All i seem to write about is my-friggin-self or what i feel about stuff and that's it. i can only write with my heart, and i can't write with my brain (if that makes any sense at all). it's the same way i fail at writing factual essays and excel in writing fictional essays and short stories and experience-based essays or whatever they're supposed to be called..i hope my point is taken.

i've always wondered whether this makes me stupid or shallow, and a lot of the times that's exactly the conclusion i end up making, and then i'd feel depressed reading other people's deep thoughts on current issues because sometimes they say exactly what i want to say but can't exactly deliver. i tried it from time to time, if you read all my blog posts, and i fail miserably at it. there are some that i wrote and never publish due to its super high unreadability factor.



but then again, maybe i'm just a girl who got bullied all the way throughout her childhood, so she suffer a severe case of insecurity. people around her would quite possibly happily testify to this, and also to how annoying she gets when she's in one of her insecure moods.

(sometimes i feel confident that there's a group of people that reads my blog solely to find stuff to make fun of - am i screwed up?)