demam.

Hai. Dah lama tak demam, selalu migraine je.

Semalam I can't sleep properly sebab I can't breathe. So I did what I've been doing from time to time for the past 5 years when I can't sleep - I call Arih and ask him to sing for me. He's nice. I like him.

Selama ni when my friends go all 'aaargh semua orang dah kawen stress stress' I just laughed because it never felt like that to me, I've always been the 'waaaaa cantiknya baju beliau' atau 'kenapa hantaran ni buruk tapi takpelah bukan untuk aku' kind of person.

But when Zaty messaged me on facebook last week to say she's getting engaged, it finally hit me. Everyone's getting married. Tipulah kalau cakap I don't want to get married as well, but it's more than that - it's the fact that when I finally go home to Malaysia, friends have moved on so far with their lives. They've worked for a few years, they got married...they've probably grown into a person I barely know anymore. And there'll be me, just sitting there, trying to fit back into Malaysia after 6 years of absence and stagnance.

Even though I know new friends will never be the same with the friends we make in school...I hope I'll meet awesome new friends. I haven't made (actual) new friends for so long.

xoxo
Atiqah