Definisi cantik kita semua.

membesar dalam masyarakat melayu membuat atiq merasa, lebih putih seseorang itu, maka lebih cantiklah dia. tambahan pula hidup dengan seorang mama yang mengamalkan dasar apartheid. bukti;

Kakak : Smak laaa *insert person here*
Mama : hmh...putih ko?

i believe this conversation has happened many times with the first watak being interchangeable and the second watak being pembolehubah dimalarkan.

atiq tak suka mentaliti 'rambut lurus + putih = cantik', 'rambut kerinting + hitam = buruk' sempitnya fikiran? i mean, as long as rambut dia tak kusut masai, pastu kulit dia flawless...warna lah apebenda kejadah pun kulit dia tu, to me still cantik. kalau pakai tudung tu alhamdulillah...memang drop dead gorgeous by default. hahaha. obviously untuk atiq je...untuk orang lain tak tahu. atiq je yang lurus bendul. *cewah perasan lurus bendul.

(jangan nak cakap tak semua orang yang tak pakai tudung tu lagi jahat dari orang pakai tudung please...keluar context)

i am PROUD to be brown/yellow/whatever. i don't wish to be any fairer...well at least not since the last 5-6 years. kita orang Asia weh, we don't need to be fair to be pretty! tengok orang-orang Australia, sebab diorang putih, pastu duduk kat negara panas...tak pasal-pasal rate skin cancer tinggi. hargailah kulit sawo matang anda.

and, kita orang Asia, kita tak payah nak jadi 6 feet tall. kita juga tak payah rambut blonde! black hair is PERFECT for our skin tone. dan kita tak payah bagi nama kampung kita, Kampung New York (kisah benar)..sesungguhnya lebih menarik kalau nama Kampung Durian, seriously. and what's with calling Setiawangsa Seattlewangsa...???!!??

people put the mat sallehs on a pedestal. while i DO think the people here are better mannered and while i DO feel safer living here, it doesn't mean we have to BE them.

kita orang melayu. memang atiq suka tulis in english tapi itu tak bermaksud atiq nak rambut perang atau mata biru. atiq nak tinggi tapi takde la sampai enam kaki. atiq taknak kampung atiq nama My Grandpa's Field Village instead of Kampung Padang Tokku (haha).

tapi atiq nak jadi orang yang tahan pintu untuk orang seterusnya yang nak lalu supaya pintu tu tak terhempas atas muka dia, dan jadi orang yang terus bangun dari tempat duduk bas bila nampak ada orang tua naik, dan terus berdiri walaupun orang tua tu berkeras kata takpe.

faham tak atiq nak cakap apa ni...?

i may not be orang yang paling melayu dalam dunia ni. cakap pun rojak. bila cakap bahasa melayu, banyak kesalahan tatabahasa. tapi at least i am proud of who i am.

i can't stand mat salleh wannabes.



Atiqah

p.s. this is not a personal attack.

'twas a crazy weekend, this one

hey, gorgeous people that i chose to invite to my blog because i'm obnoxious and discriminate against my friends by inviting only a select few.

i just went through what i feel like the most insane weekend ever in my life.

i spent the night at my seniors' house on Friday. it was my farewell gesture for them, for being so amazing to me. i slept at 2.30am doing nothing else other than talk to them. i can't believe they're officially doctors. and i can't believe they're leaving. these...are the people who came to Kak Rose's apartment at midnight when i was crying and feeling suicidal all those years ago. they came and calmed me down, waited for my sobs to end, called a cab and brought me to their house where there was a huge dinner on the table, and helped me get through the night. i still remember that night, that night was the night that i gained a new family. one that lives near me, one that can give me a hug when i need it...and now they're leaving. for good.

this weekend was jammed with events. i was always working on something; from the moment i open my eyes, to the moment i fall comatose the second i lay my head on a pillow. the hecticness of it all didn't leave me a chance to really absorb the fact that i will no longer have my other family with me, here, in physical form, tangible and real and non-pixelated.

but now, as i am writing this blog, it is slowly sinking in...and this is not a nice feeling, the one i am having right now. i hate goodbyes.

Kak Husna, Kak Aimi, Kak Nang, Kak Yopit, Kak Fatim...you will always, always, have a special place in my heart. you have no idea how much i appreciate you being here for me whenever i need you. i remember a lot of the things we did together, a lot of the things we talked about. and we all know how hard it is for an Atiqah to remember.

this was meant to be an entry in which i tell you about our fundraising activities and how i handled an auction, and how we managed to raise more than 1000euro for Cambodia. and about how i handled a game for the kids during Cork Mosque's Community Day, sold a United Colours of Benetton perfume for 5euros by mistake, bought clothes for baby Zulkifli in Malaysia, spilled all the money in our money box all over the tar in front of our stall (typical Atiqah). and about the stupid gate sensor at Kak Ros's apartment, and how i wanted to reverse a manual car but didn't have enough strength to press the handbreak button.

...but they all fade in comparison to having my Other Family leaving me. i know they will be spectacular doctors, and i pray that internship in Malaysia will not bring them down.

i am, however, very much aware that i still have many amazing friends still here with me, and i am thankful for that. it's just that things will never be the same again. ever, ever.


LOL (lots of love),
Atiqah

'recipes'

i saw an apple strudel recipe on the net that requires ingredients like 'puff pastry' and 'inti apel segera'....and thought 'whaaattt. does that qualify as a recipe???' and then i thought...well that is probably what the older generation (and their spoilt grandchildren e.g. arih..haha) thinks when they see recipes that consist of 'rempah kuzi', instead of 'jintan manis, jintan putih, etc etc' .

next thing we know, the 'recipe' would consist of 'packet of kebab' and 'microwave'.


Atiqah.

drowning in a sea of hand-me-downs

hey!

so i finally got to pick up all the stuff for the charity sale/auction after yesterday's fiasco. bali and shidot borrowed a car from this malay doctor, and they drove me (and diyana) around cork to collect hand-me-downs.

mase bali mula2 sampai in front of my house tu i was surprised to see that it was just him in the car. cam aikkk ustaz kisas ni nak drive aku around cork berdua je ke biar betul...haha. turns out shidot was just down the street, dekat clashduv singgah amek barang.

taknak graceful nak mampos pulak la kan atiq masa nak naik kereta tu, tersepak terhantuk segala mak nenek. bali sengih je sambil berkata 'atiq...atiq..'. haih..sorry, saya memang clumsy dan menggelabah. suka berpura-pura tenang tetapi tetap tidak berjaya.

anyway we got TONS of stuff. tepaksa pegi hantar dulu barang to my house sebab penuh sampai tak muat boot, then baru sambung pegi amek lagi dr orang2 lain yang dah janji nak bagi barang. sekarang i'm tapis-ing the items and some of these things are pure GOLD. bukanlah maksudnye diperbuat dari emas...maksudnye cam, sangat best. i have to refrain from buying them sebab shidot kate benda2 best kena auction and die pesan kat atiq jangan pau barang in advance, beli nanti T__T

masa diorang hantar atiq balik td;

Atiq : bowok anok daro orey balik mmolek *referring to Di*

Ustaz Bali : ye Atiq. takpo, mung tok tengok pung Allah tengok *wajah poyo*

Ustaz Bali : *shouts from the car* Atiq, kalu ado barey best sipey ko aku!

Atiq : k!

Shidot : *shouts from car* ATIQ JANGAN PAU BARANG. JANGAN TAUU...INGAT AKU PESAN NI..! *nada ketua projek autokratik*


...ye baik. saya mengikut arahan T___T

baru a quarter through the stuff, refolding them and putting them into categories. now tengah price kan...huargh banyak gile k!

tadi Didie the sister msg tny whether i'm free. i hate texting back to say that i wasn't free...because this is like the bejillionth time she wanted to call me and then couldn't because i was busy. i hope she doesn't give up on me :(


Atiqah

400th post: A series of unfortunate events.

Atiq jogged halfway across the road to a mini triangle and stopped there because the pedestrian light turned red. She barely stood there when she felt it; fat droplets of rain thumping on her headscarf. She was wearing a light white cardigan over a dress, and a pair of dark blue Levi's she's been wearing all year long. She shifted her leather brown bag under her arm and took a deep breath in when the rain began to pour on her. The cars sped on mercilessly. She was stuck on the little triangle in the middle of the busy O'Dennehy's Cross with nowhere to run to because the lights were still red.

She ran across the road at the first glimpse of green amidst the downpour. There was a coffee house right there on the junction, and she pushed its door in a hurry, seeking shelter. The atmosphere was warm, it smelled of coffee, and there were only two other people. Ladies. Chatting away at the corner. She smiled at the girl behind the counter and ordered a glass of hot chocolate and a white chocolate and macadamian nut cookie.

She walked towards the bar stool facing the traffic lights outside. Threw her bag on the table and slumped on the tall stool, rubbing her forehead. She stared hopelessly at the glass window, patterned with droplets of rain. She took out her handphone and slowly typed a text;

'Salam wbt...dukacita dimaklumkan acara mengutip barang hr ni xdpt dijalankn krn i was stood up by the car rental company =( we'll try n figure sthg out,will try n cllect the items 2moro,kay? Sorry!'

Her fingers played on the blue Motorola KRZR, and she scrolled down the phonebook, ticking all the relevant names and sent the message. She then erased the whole text and typed a new one;

'Today is stupid. Sigh. Watcha up 2 sistah?'

It was for Opie. She sat there, eating the giant cookie and drinking her hot chocolate. At least the food didn't dissapoint her. She waited for about 20 minutes before giving up and decided to walk the 20 minute distance back home through the pouring rain. It was the perfect ending to her miserable day. Then she got a text;

'Skype la beb.tgh serabut palo.'

She let out a small sigh, hugged herself and walked back home in her dripping wet blue canvas shoes.

ok dah menyesal.

sorry.

sekarang dah habis exam tapi tak rasa merdeka sebab soalan yang keluar semua past year tapi masalahnya atiq tak buat past year uwwaaaaa tula tula sape suruh tengok saje haa.

tengah tunggu orang from car rental datang amek untuk pegi amek kereta kat tempat die. nak Ford Fiesta pleashe.

semoga selamat perjalanan pergi dan pulang amiinn.

mishen imposibel.

Atique: dah la aku suruh belajar die pegi meroyan dgn dayah kat dapur
Atique: ingat aku tatau keeee
Niesa: hahaha
Niesa: oppss
Niesa: kantoi plak
Niesa: ala lapaaaa
Niesa: esok nk mam kebab
Atique: haha
Atique: kaya doh pempuan nihhh
Atique: nak kebab jugak pls
Atique: haha
Niesa: hahaha
Niesa: jom esok weh
Niesa: order kebabun
Atique: jom. aku nak starve sehari biar sedapp gittew makan kebabun
Atique: gile macam babun je
Atique: buruk
Niesa: hahahahaha
Niesa: cool, sbb satu kebab tu da ckup besar, kenyang mkn satu ari
Atique: hahahahaha ko pecaya ke aku nak starve satu hari


*di zaman IT ni, plan nak order kebab dgn housemate yg literally bilik sebelah share dinding pun perlu melalui IM.

weird flashbacks

sometimes random things remind me of past events.

like the song Unwritten would remind me of the summer spent at Kak Rose and Kak Cikin's apartment, because it was on Kak Rose's iTunes.

and the perfume Dior Addict 2 takes me back to London, the first winter i experience. i bought my first Dior Addict 2 on sale from The Perfume Shop on Oxford St. and wore it straightaway.

i wish the dress i wear this Wednesday would remind me of fantastic CP lectures. but we all know that that's not how life works.


love.
Atiqah.

sayang kau kenapa?

sila study please Atiqah.


satu je lagi paper. satuuuuu je lagi. lepas habis exam nanti busy dengan kerja2 fundraising untuk Kemboja, lepas tu pergi camping, lepas tu pergi Cardiff jumpa nana, lepas tu nana nak bawak jalan gi Bath, yuss. tapi tapi nak balik from Cardiff kena naik flight kat Bristol airport, lepas tu flight awal pagi so taktau macam mana T___T kena carik orang Bristol nak tumpang crash for the night atau kena tido kat airport sorang-sorang. berani je sebenarnya tapi nana marah. sigh.

Welcome to Flickr!

Hoi Atique!
Now you know how to greet people in Dutch!




Hahah...i think it's hilarious. It's fascinating, how languages of homo sapiens across the world differ from one another.

p.s. to those of you who don't have a flickr account, they have this thing where they greet their users on the homepage in various different languages everytime we sign in.

Kisah Sekolah Menengahku

haha macam tajuk karangan zaman dulu-dulu. walaupun tiga perkataan sahaja tapi tetap ada kesalahan tatabahasa. result SPM Atiq, 8 A 1 B. B Bahasa Melayu. Cikgu Bahasa Melayu Atiq jerit kat Atiq lepas Atiq keluar dari office MRSMPC ambik slip exam, die kate 'HA, TENGKU! ANAK KELING BETOL, ENGLISH 1119 DAPAT A, BAHASA MELAYU DAPAT B!!! KALAU BUKAN SEBAB AWAK, 100% ANAK MURID SAYA DAPAT A TAU!!!'

walaupun cikgu tu bagi statement berbaur racist, tapi die tetap antara cikgu yang Atiq suka. die jerit kat Atiq sambil sengih-sengih, bukan betul-betul. kalau dalam kelas, Atiq selalu kena halau sebab tidur. Atiq tidur masa semua subjek tak kira tahap kegarangan cikgu tu macam mana. kecuali masa BM, sebab Atiq suka cikgu Noraini. tapi akhirnya BM yang dapat B. Allah yang tentukan.

masa Atiq kat mrsm, Atiq low profile. cewah tipu. Atiq poyo dan dibenci ramai. hahahaha...tak tak tak. entahla. anyway, Atiq tringat satu cerita ni...cam nak record in my blog. it's going to be long, you can stop reading now if you want to :]

****

Latar Tempat : Maktab Rendah Sains MARA Pengkalan Chepa. Kelantan, Malaysia.
Latar Masa : Tahun 2003, Minggu Orientasi...kot. tak ingat.

I was part of Adibah's Public Relation's Bureau when I was in PC. It was Orientation Week for the juniors, and each Bureau in the Student Body had a slot to fill with an activity. I was the mastermind for the game in our slot, so I had to run around the school as the juniors played it, making sure everything is running as planned. I was walking with a couple of my friends when I saw a group of juniors walking towards us, one of them was talking on a handphone.

Now, to be clear. I was not a poyo senior. To be honest, I was always the type who don't take too much notice about my juniors. Don't know them, don't care about them...in all the schools I went to. I hated the seniority that exists in mrsms, it was just ridiculous. It's just a one year gap, they should all just chill.

When I walked past that junior, I said (sarcastically);

'eh..selamba nye guna handphone in public.'

Jeling manja sikit. Saja je...poyo sekali sekala. Tapi lepas tu Atiq jalan straight je...tak berhenti pun. Tiba-tiba dengar dari belakang suara orang jerit;

'KENAPA?? ADA MASALAH KE?!!'

darah muda menyirap naik ke muka masa dengar tu. 'eh kurang ajar punya junior, baru masuk dah bising ye engkau' fikir aku dalam hati. gehehe macam tulis novel pulak rase. tapi i just let it go masa tu, malas nak create scene. tapi mestila lepas tu balik blok and bising kat semua orang kan, haha. masa tu Atiq muda lagi...not even 16. bitchy lagi. kalau jadi sekarang mesti Atiq tak layan and fikir 'sukehati kau lah Sabariah' sahaja.

****

I was sitting in front of my 'cube' on Aras 01, Blok E. Studying at my usual spot, under the fan. It was just another normal night in school, some people were studying, some hanging out...and some running around and screaming, generally being seventeen year old girls living in a hostel.

'Atiq! Atiq! Amy* panggil suruh kau pegi Blok C.'

'Huh? Aku?? Kenapa??'

'Ada roll call!'

'Haaa?? Abes tu ape kaitan dengan aku kalau ada roll call pun??'

'Entah mana aku tahu. Pegi ah weh, diorang panggil!'

I turned my cap to the back, looking as gangsta as I could. Oh crap...ni ape masalah pulak tibe-tibe kena pegi roll call ni. Leceh betul la.

I ran to the juniors block to see a typical scene of the junior's block at night; LDPs standing in front looking like they're about to turn green and blow up into Incredible Hulks, juniors squatting in the dark in lines, faces down. I could hear Al-Quran recitation being played on the radio coming from the boys' LDP room...don't ask. I don't know why either. Nak tenangkan hati LDP girls yang dah macam kena rasuk syaiton tu kot.

'Kenapa ni weh?'

'Ha...datang pun kau Atiq. Kau cite siket kat budak-budak ni, ape jadi kat kau siang tadi!!'

Huh??? Sudahhh...sape pulak pegi cite kat LDP nihh.

'Weh, tak payah ah sampai buat roll call kot.'

(ignoring me) 'Sape kurang ajar sangat dengan Kak Atiq tadi?? Sape??!!'

After they coaxed me into telling the juniors what happened...well. I somehow terjangkit kena rasuk syaiton same and start rasa annoyed jugak towards the juniors.

'Oh, siang tadi kurang ajar sangat. Berani sangat! Sekarang takut pulak nak ngaku!!'

'Semua, berdiri separuh!!!!'

'Weh, tak payah ah suruh diorang diri camtu. Sakit ah weh. Sian diorang'

(ignoring me) 'Atiq, aku nak kau pegi check muka sorang-sorang, cam kan sape siang tadi tu. Amy, kau pegi suluh muka diorang untuk Atiq'

'Wehhhhh aku tak cam ahh muka budak tu!!! Tak payah la weh!'

Amy, ignoring me, just walked ahead and started to shine her torchlight directly on the juniors faces, and I had to follow suit, all the while chanting 'Wey sian kat diorang, aku tak cam la! Korang ni kenapa??'

After I failed to recognize her face, I told them I was heading back to Block E.

'Jangan balik dulu Atiq...tunggu jap'

Thinking back...I think I was bullied as much as the juniors were, sitting down in front of them doing nothing, feeling awkward. The LDPs kept yelling at the juniors for some other stuff. The Quran recitation was still playing from the boys' block.

'Atiq. ni hah...ngaku pun'

I looked up to see a girl standing in front of me, her face was the definition of terrified.

'Sorry kak...tadi saya on the phone dengan ayah saya. Die kat IJN, sakit. Sebab tu saya tension sikit bila akak sound.'

'Lah...cakap la awal-awal. Takpe. *turns to Amy* Weh...habes tu? Aku nak buat ape dengan budak ni? *turns back to the girl without waiting for Amy to answer* Dah ah, gi ah duduk. Sorry jugak'

****

Latar Tempat : Physiology Department floor, Windle Building. Cork, Ireland.
Latar Masa : Tahun 2008

'Kak Atiq, akak kenal tak kawan saya sorang ni...die junior akak kat mrsmpc'

'Akak tak kenal junior la Aliyah..'

'Tapi kawan saya ni femess....dulu die..'

'..yang femes pun akak tak kenal. Diorang je kenal akak...haha.' Bukan sombong, nyanyuk.

'Tak, kawan saya ni, semua orang kenal die. Dulu, masa die form 4, die ade kes ni...macam mana tah..die cam guna handphone kat sekolah, lepas tu die cam gaduh dengan sorang senior ni, satu batch die kena marah..'

'...........'

'...akak kenal tak die? Nama die...ape eh...Aina* kot?'

'...ya Allah..'

'Akak kenal ek??'

'....akak la senior tu.'

'haaa?? Akak tau tak, die cam sampai keluar mrsm kot sebab semua orang tak suke die lepas incident tu? Tapi saya rasa cam die masuk balik mrsmpc..tak sure..'

'WHAT?? DIE KELUAR MRSM???'

****

Manusia. Akalnya cetek. Mereka tidak sedar sekecil-kecil kesilapan mereka boleh memberi impak yang besar ke atas orang lain.

Atiqah

*bukan nama sebenar

Hanisah penjenayah yang gagal.

Semalam kitorang (Atiq+Niesa+Dayah) buat operasi 'Letak-Sampah-Dalam-Tong-Jiran-Kerana-Tak-Muat-Dalam-Tong-Sendiri' (LSDTJKTMDS). Sampah kitorang dah lebih sebulan kot tak buang sebab we didn't take the wheelie bin out, sebab 1) nyanyuk, 2) ada Kakak post grad tumpang parking kereta kat depan rumah pastu tak muat nak tarik keluar tong. Ceh, die tak tinggal kunci keta spare kat kitorang plak tu, takleh nak alihkan. Haha. Nampak sangat muka Dayah tak boleh pecaya, sebab tu die tak tinggal kunci (tiba-tiba tuduh Dayah).

Oleh kerana sampah kitorang ada dua beg plastik hitam yang tak muat nak letak, Atiq (yang bijak laksana) pun mencadangkan la supaya kitorang meletakkan sampah2 itu di dalam tong sampah jiran-jiran yang terdiri dari orang tua semuanya, maka obviously tong sampah diorang separuh je isi...membazir betul ruang tu...baik kitorang tolong isikan..betul tak?

So semalam kitorang pun buatla seperti yang dirancang...Lepas dah tarik tong kitorang keluar, Dayah amik satu beg plastik yg tak muat tu and pegi masukkan dalam tong jiran kat depan...and Atiq amek yang lagi satu and jengket2 tunduk2 pegi nak letak kat tong jiran sebelah rumah, manakala Niesa berdiri terpinga-pinga di depan pagar rumah kitorang. Tapi, oleh sebab sampah tu berat nak mampus and Atiq kena guna dua-dua tangan untuk masukkan dalam tong sampah (cewah padahal kena guna dua tangan sebab kena angkat tinggi sangat sebab diri yang pendek), Atiq pun panggil la Niesa nak mintak tolong bukakkan tong tu. Mak aiiihhhhh....die punye la cuak nak mampos nak datang tolong bukakkan. Slow motion pulak tu...memang gagal and tak boleh buat jadi partner in crime..haha.

Niesa ni muka je macam ganas/garang tapi sebenarnye dalam rumah ni die la yang paling sopan santun dan banyak pantang larang macam puteri raja...jangan tak tau. hehe. Saaaayyyyaaannnggggg Niesa. :P

Pengajaran di sini ialah, kalau nak buat jahat dengan kawan, tanya die dulu: Masa sekolah dulu, kau jadi LDP tak??

Kalau ya, jangan ajak die teman buat jahat. Nanti die gagal. Macam Hanisah. Dulu kat MRSM Jasin, Niesa ni Vice Pres LDP. Hahahah. Dayah pulak, budak yang digugurkan dari pemilihan pengawas kerana curah mi atas orang. Ha, orang beginilah yang kita mahu. Rilek je pegi letak sampah kat rumah jiran pastu terus masuk rumah tak pedulikan Atiq yang masih tak bejaya letak sampah sebab Niesa asyik check line je sampai sudah taknak tolong bukakkan tong.

one of my personal goals in life is to not hate the things i did the year before, and have a period of time in my life that i can think 'if i am to relive that year, i will live it exactly the same as i did before'.

i haven't reached this goal yet, and i have the feeling the me next year will want to live this year differently. maybe i am actually a mental person.


be afraid.

Letter to yourself

(it's not new in this blog, innit? hehe sorry)

i stumbled upon this while i was having a break from Pathology and reading the blog of a very intelligent 18 year old american girl because i'm weird and i stalk the most random people on earth. she posted this on her blog to answer 'HELL NO' to the 'Are you a cheer leader?' question asked by her eight year old self 10 years ago (this was a summer camp assignment i think, and the people there just gave it back to her).

it reminds me of the letter the eight of us from 5 Jahiz wrote to ourselves, shoved in a glass bottle and planted beside the academic block of mrsmpc. we promised to have a reunion 10 years later and read the letters we wrote. it's been 6 years...four more to go if fate has it written that my life will last that long.

it's not as fun though, because i can remember what i wrote. and it's also not quite as funny because i was already *cough*grown up*cough*. i'm pretty sure it consists of something along the line of 'are you a doctor now?' and 'are you still with Look??' both of which i don't really have a definite answer to, but you somehow managed to make your way to med school, and you dumped him when he got the offer to Japan because you're shallow and cannot handle a long distance relationship, Atiq from 6 years ago. but it's a good decision, you went through a crap phase of life after that and grew up so much after it ended. because nothing can make you grow as a person better than a crap phase of life.



i will suggest that if you have a younger sibling you ask them to write this letter, and give it to them 10 years later, it'd be so interesting for them.


...because believe me, 10 years flies by like it's nobody's business.




Atiqah

tongkang pecah pun tidak begini

satu set pen di atas lantai. mangkuk berisi tangkai anggur di atas meja. botol air kosong di atas katil. botol air kosong di atas meja (minum air banyak untuk menjaga kecantikan kulit padahal kecantikan kulit takde pun untuk dijaga. tapi takpe, yang penting semangat), rich tea biscuit separa paket di atas meja, meja study atas katil, jam loceng bawah bantal (jarum die bunyi kuat, annoying. kalau tengah tension belajar ada potensi untuk dimusnahkan, maka kena sorok), baju sepah disana sini, hanger atas katil, kertas atas lantai, kertas atas katil, kertas atas meja, kertas atas meja solek, kertas merata-rata, fail atas lantai..hmmffffh. memang mantap lah bilik Atiqah. nak cari barang macam main treasure hunt pun ada.

siapa nak pinang, siapa, siapa??



....tongkang tu apa?

Pharmacology

so for once I had loads to say on the essays....BUT I RAN OUT OF TIME SO I DIDN'T GET TO PROPERLY WRITE THEM DNSJHWUIAG3R73891T278GUEBQ

and i wrote ACE inhibitor as one of the drugs for cardiac arrhythmia despite already writing down Digoxin on the question paper as rough answer. AND ACE INHIBITOR WAS THE WRONG DRUG. WRONGWRONGWRONGN*(y*&(oyhluibnkjmnK6. Digoxin was the right one T__T

by the time i wrote the mechanism of ACE inhibitor and realized there's no way in hell it's supposed to be used for cardiac arrhythmia, it's already like 5 minutes past the end of the exam and the invigilator was standing there, waiting for me to finish writing. which means she's a nice invigilator, and which means i didn't have time to scramble Digoxin on the paper.

why won't they let me put multiple Vaughan Williams drugs..... T___T



takpelah. Alhamdulillah dah lepas.

next is Pathology.

life is running in time frames lately: one day till Pharmacology, two days till Pathology, 8juta hari till Summer break..... T_________T

Atiqah

2 sudah berlalu, tapi esok ada lagi.

the paper was HARD. like HARD HARD. i hope the physiology part would cover me because it's worth 50% for this paper, or i'm screwed.

i went to the library to return the histology book i borrowed, and by the time i was heading back home it was pouring. i'm drenched, my jeans are wet, but what annoys me most is i know that walking in rain = migraine. i can already feel it coming.

sigh.

nasib baik dah beli 2 papan panadol sebagai persediaan utk fenin exam.

still have four more papers. doakan atiq...i really need it :(

i'm beginning to think our landlord's son actually sprinkled the seeds of these little white flowers spawning all over our backyard and lawn after he mowed the grass, because they grow right back the day after he mowed them all to their fated death, and the backyard of the old couple next door has clear green grass and not a single small white flower has grown on it.

this is the hypothesis that i made after being sleepy and walking around the room staring at my window aimlessly trying to wake my stupid sleepy eyes up.

kthanksbai

one down, five more to go T__T

It was quite hard, I don't know. I hope I pass :|

Lorgan sat one seat ahead of me in the row on my left, and I had to look away from him to make sure I don't get migraine..adeyy. He wore a NEON YELLOW t-shirt, the same colour as the neon jackets the invigilators are wearing. And he dyed his hair PINK. HOT PINK.

And that's not all...when I walked out the hall after the exam ended, I saw Hui, and his hair is purple. The guy who was walking with him.........his hair is blue. BLUE.



College.

KEPALA NAK PECAH

hanya dengan mengingati Allah hati akan menjadi tenang.


segunung dosa membebani lafaz kata tatkala berdoa memohon pertolongan dariNya,

ampunkan Atiq ya Tuhan..


kurniakan kelulusan jika itu yang terbaik untuk Atiq, dan tanamkanlah rasa syukur dan sabar dalam diri Atiq walau apapun yang telah tertulis dalam takdir seorang Atiqah untuk final exam kali ni...

mama ialah ibu yang mithali/comel

Mithali sebab bila Atiq dengar kawan-kawan cerita pasal Mama diorang Atiq cam tak faham kenapa Mama diorang tak macam Mama Atiq. Jadi baru menyedari betapa selflessnye Mama Atiq. Comel sebab present birthday nak demand Nokia 6300 dan menyebabkan semua anak-anak pokai secara serentak, tapi lepas tu tak reti nak guna mcm mana (seperti yg dibuktikan dlm email dibawah). And sebab panggil Atiq tiqtik everytime without fail, even dalam sms. Lepas tu panggil sayang dan kadangkala cayang, omg. Mahu jadi Mama seperti ini suatu hari nanti please. Tenks.


From: Mazyah Mahmud
To: Atique
Sent: Sunday, May 3, 2009 4:30:50 PM
Subject: Re: gambar atiq :D

Assalamualaikum tiqtik sayang

Mama ke dah bagi alamat baru email mama atiq ata gambar dahpunpun kat email tu.

mama ok saja sayang cuma dah tua-tua ni bila banyak kija kat opih letih tu lebih sikit. Tiqtik tak sah dok pikir pasal mama kerana mama mace biasa saja. Yahyana baru tunjuk sakni email hak atiq ata tu.

Dah berapa kali mama call atiq tapi takleh mama pun gi tutup pagar, tengok ada misscall tapi bila tepon tak leh la pulak. Mama cari mesej atiq hak atiq oyak periksa tapi tak jupa. Mama tak tahu hile bila sebab mesej dale tpon mama tu tinggal 30 jah dari hak seratuh lebih. tak kaba hile bila ko mama terdelet masa mama dok sambung kat komputer mace mama hile setengah no. tpon hak mama sipe dale tpon.

mama ok mace biasa saja taksah dok bimbang. Hak mustahak la ni atiq pikir pasal periksa atiq tu. Belajar dan fokus pada apa yang dibaca tu, tenangkan fikiran agar dapat ingat apa yang dipelajari dan dapat buat periksa tu dengan baik. Mama kat sini sentiasa mendoakan kejayaan tiqtiq sayang.

okla cayang. selamat periksa dan jawap dengan tenang dan hati-hati insyaallah atiq boleh buat dan lulus dengan baik.

bye

syang selalu dari mama

minuman kegemaran sejak kecil, pengganti susu botol.

tadi Atiq buat the last glass of Milo ever for this semester. paket Milo kecik yang Syakur belikan masa die balik Malaysia untuk PAU hari tu dah habis. this makes me rather sad. menyesal tak dera Syakur suruh beli paket besar. cewah macam die nak je belikan paket besar. sedih bukan sebab sudah takde tanda kenang-kenangan dari Syakur eh, tapi sebab Milo habis.

lek lek Amin, Tiq tak kacau punye boyfriend kawan baik anda itu. janji...heh.

(btw, Kakak/Kakwe, Syakur's got a girlfriend..don't think i've mentioned it to you. after all these years of us being dysfunctional in general, i thought you might be interested to know)

ha selamba ckp pasal Syakur sebab die takde dlm invited list. korang jangan nak kantoikan Atiq eh! syyyy.


Milo takde = jiwa kacau.

exam lusa! very the cuak one.

ALHAMDULILLAH....

TUNGGAKAN ELAUN BUKU DAN PERKAKAS 08/09 MARA

Pertama sekali, terima kasih kepada saudara presiden PPMC tahun ini atas usaha beliau menyelesai krisis kewangan sebilangan pelajar Cork.

Pihak MARA London ingin memohon maaf kepada mereka yang terlibat ekoran kelewatan ini. Oleh itu, pihak penaja akan mula memasukkan elaun tunggakan tersebut pada pertengahan bulan Mei ini nanti yang berjumlah Euro *BEEEEPPPPP* (untuk mengelakkan aktiviti pengikisan)

Nama-nama pelajar yang bakal menerima elaun tersebut adalah: Nur Iliana, Mohamad Farhan, Nik Amalina, Andik Najib, Aliya Natasya, Syarifah Munaizzati, Khairun Nafeesha, Iliya Ijmal, Ikhwan Azmi, Nor Aimi Mastura, Mohd Haidir, Izzah Hamzah, Siti Samihah, Fathi Ramli, Tg Nur Atiqah, Muhamad Asraf, Nur Afzan, Noranida, Mohd Abdus Syakur, Muhamad Lutfan, Mohd Yusof, Najihah Abu Bakar dan Hanisah Jinlapudin .

YUSSS. FREAKING WIIINNNNNN.

the definition of clumsy

just went downstairs to grab something to eat and make a glass of Milo bc i was starving. opened the fridge, and took out the unopened tub of plums i bought a couple of days ago. i attempted to be careful in ripping the plastic open but it didn't quite work. the plums flew all over the fridge, naturally.


...because i won't be Atiqah if they didn't.


human of the female kind doesn't come any less graceful than the Atiqah, i say.

Mama called to remind me not to cry while studying.

The impulse buys that happened when I was stressing out just came in the mail. My bank account is screaming ouch.

I need to go to Cardiff and see Nana before I go back for Summer break. It is essential for my sanity.

I want to go to Morocco but the tickets are SO expensive. The only cheap destination is Carcassonne, which is in France. And Brussels...but everyone have been to Brussels and nobody wants to go discover this unknown place in France with me. WHY, Ryanair, WHY do you have direct flights to freaking Carcassonne from Cork. You're just weird, Ryanair. I hate you.



Atiqah

edit : just got an e-mail from Ryanair: '30% fare reduction just for you!' - just so you know, Ryanair, i'm not that easy. you have to try harder. and hijacking my blog is so not cool. I NAK BREAKUP.