Welcome Ramadhan :)

salam wbt

may this Ramadhan bring many blessings to everyone and may it be the bestestest antidote to all the wrongdoings everyone's been indulging themselves in all year long~

while i'm glad that i'm performing terawikh in a mosque with a real Imam and a real Bilal, i do miss performing it in Cork, where people pull each other closer to form a perfect saff before praying and where praying mats are laid horizontally as a silent gesture of sharing, instead of becoming symbols of private territories..~

anyway there's no denying me being glad knowing i'll be having proper sahurs for twenty fasting days, instead of just cereal and plain water.

<3

be good yah people.

too much laughing with the kids and i might have just done a huge mistake in text form

i have an inexplicable talent in hurting this rare species called Guys. if you ask me, i would say it's about time i stopped doing it.

i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorrrryyyyyyyy~~

as usual Atiqah is not good at apologizing and explaining herself and at long last she will be resigned to blaming her ownself for absolutely everythings.

the uncertain future is not intriguing, it's creepy.

malam ni jangan lupe terawikh kay people.

<3

Selamat Hari Merdeka

encit Hareez said it best - Merdekakah kita??~

(though that can also be some Butterfingers song lyric quotage or something like that, knowing that epic pendet)

gah! i wish i can write like Nikkiface.

she writes poetry and fiction with such effortless charm. here be her fictionpress linkage

in other news, i love you <3

babyman

i have a cousin who's age i'm not sure of, he's probably about five or six. i rarely see him and when i see him i avoid him because...well, because sometimes i really want to sekeh him and that would be inappropriate. hehe.

i went to Tokwe's earlier tonight, and as i was sitting there having a conversation with Tokwe and my uncle, he was sitting on the chair beside me and he somehow decided that it would be fun to poke me again and again and again and again and again and again. i was, thankfully, feeling extra patient for some reason and just ignored him and shielded his pokes from time to time. and then i got a bit annoyed but i don't want to offend my auntie by being annoyed with her son, so i decided i would start a conversation with the bugger to distract him from poking me.

(i literally even forgot his name..lol)

Atiq : namo gapo ni?
Didie : babyman
Atiq : haa? bakpo panggil dio babyman? dio ko suruh? *thinks for a while and was pretty sure his name wasn't Aiman*
Tokwe : ho laa...dio la suruh.
Atiq : bakpo babyman? sebab superman ko?
Didie : dok eh...sebab spiderman *sengih-sengih*
Atiq : LOLL
Tokwe : semo bendo dio nok beli hok spiderman
Atiq : eh...a'ah la, baju dio gambar spiderman! *then notices something else* sluar dio pun! *took one of the new underwears his mom bought for him that he's been putting on his head, shin-chan style* spender pun spiderman! *ROFL*
My Auntie : ho..semo bendo pun spiderman. pembaris, pensel, beg skoloh, berus gigi pun spiderman jugok.
My Uncle : sebelum reti kecek lagi minat spiderman doh..
Atiq : *ROFL*

kwang2.

a huge weight off my shoulders..

we just solved something that was beginning to feel like it's been tangled for too long and needs to be sorted out...and i began the conversation that took place many, many times before with the thought that it's not going to work out as usual (because we're two demented people), but somehow it seemed so easy to be solved and it almost felt like the solution's there all these while but we were just refusing to see it. the unspeakable truth did have it's own happy ending after all, just not the way i wanted it to be like - it's even better.

i'm pretty sure that if i click through my archive around a year ago i'd find a very similar post to this, written in a different way but meant the same thing. i will do my best to keep the promises i make to myselves this time around.

what i know now is that i'm happy for many reasons and i like this feeling and i want it to stay.

...and i can't wait to go back to Cork and kick arse in second year.

-Atiqah

i think daffydowndilly is a most delightful name for a flower - daffodil is downright boring.

serendipity (and unnecessary details of my day)

when i went out the day before yesterday, i wore an orange tunic and when i saw musang in the car i immediately noticed that musang was wearing an orange shirt. and yesterday when i went out with musang to buy my raya tudungs, i wore a white baju kurung and musang mysteriously wore a white shirt. and today i wore a black baju kurung when i went out with Ayahnda, and as we were approaching kedai kak wok to buy lunch, i was a bit startled to saw musang standing in the line. it's not that weird, bumping into musang there, because it's nasik kak wok and everybody goes there. what startled me was the fact that, yes, musang was wearing a black shirt.

~

earlier on the day i went with Ayahnda to collect this hamper he told me he's mysteriously getting from this unknown company who apparently called to ask him to come and collect the hamper. so we searched for it and found it a bit further down the road from Four Seasons. when we get there, i didn't even enter the place and just stood around listening to my mp3 because i assumed it won't take dad very long to just take the hamper. but the girl working there insisted on me coming in, so i went in and took off one of my earphones. here be what happened, translated;

Girl : Duduk la dik.
Atiq : *senyum* *still standing and looking around the place*
Ayahnda : saya beli barang ape sampai dapat hamper ni...?~
Girl : tak tau la tu cik, kami dapat call suruh bagi cik hamper, kerje kami just bagi hamper ni kat cik je *looks at me* Duduk la dik.
Atiq : ni apahal ni. lame ke pulak kena duk sini sampai nak suruh aku duduk duduk. *sits down*
Girl : *goes on explaining to my dad* macam ni cik, yang cik wajib buat nye ambik hamper ni je, tapi kami akan bagi cik points, jadi kalau cik beli berminat kat barang2 kami and beli barang2 kami hari ni, cik akan dapat diskaun, kurang RM150 dari harga biasa.
Atiq : *looks on sceptically* kalau tak beli hari ni, dah tak boleh diskaun?
Girl : a'ah, tak boleh..kena beli hari ni jugak. kalau datang lain kali dah tak boleh dah..tapi boleh datang ambik hamper lain kali and beli masa tu.
Ayahnda : mm...takpela. biar je la, tak payah beli. mama die takde ni, karang beli sendiri nanti mama die tak suke pulak. ambik hamper je la ye.
Girl : *goes on persuading*
Ayahnda : *goes on refusing*
Girl : *looks at me for support*
Atiq : *shrugs*
Girl : *looks dissatisfied and gave up*

when we went into the car we opened the hamper to reveal an album that i think could have costed around 1ringgit when bought in bulk, and a bowl that couldn't have costed more than 3ringgit.

...wowwww...Malaysia is full of scammers, huh. but we totally pwned that one, didn't we? lol.

zomg Atiqah went a day without posting

well, i technically did but i privated the post due to it being too personal, me thinks.

i'm really really happy. like really really happy. like seriouzzzly. hee.

^.^

well anyway.

there was a peculiar sight as i walked alongside Tokku to USM this morning - everybody was reading newspapers; the guy sitting on the bench, the nurses at the counter..even the patient lying down on a stretcher! haha. it's nice to know that at crucial times like this people do care about their country and read real newspapers, not just tabloids.

and i had steak for lunch, and it tastes like it's been in the fridge for a bejillion years. yummy.


and the rest of the day is the happiest day that i've been through for the whole summer break~
i'm sitting cozily in a bubble and nobody must pop it.
i shall not return to Reality.


xoxo

confuzzled

a couple of days ago Tokku told me he has an appointment with a cardiologist on the 25th, which is today. now you see, my Tokku, he's the type of person that doesn't ask directly for a favour. like if he wants my dad to go and buy something he'll say 'kalu Amud ado maso...' or 'kalu Amud nk gi kbmall...' eventhough he really wants my dad to buy it asap. apart from this, he's also the type of person that likes to play mind games; he likes to test people unbeknownst to them.

so when he said he has an appointment, i automatically thinks he wants me to come with, eventhough he never said so. so i offered to go with him, but he said the checkup'll take a long time. and yesterday when i asked him about it again, he repeated that it's going to take long and added that he's going at 8 in the morning. i somehow lead my confuzzled brain to think that he's testing me; that he wants to know whether i'm willing to sit around waiting for him. so i decided to go..i can always bring a book, and it's not like i have anything else to do anyways. but i didn't tell him this decision, and decided that i would just show up and tag along the next day.



BUT when i woke up this morning something else popped up in my fragile little mind (south park references ftw).

what if he said all those things because he doesn't want me to come with, and he's just too nice and tactful to be saying it directly. now, as this thought came to me, it suddenly seem like it makes much more sense than the previous complicated theory. so i decided not to go.


and just now as i was preparing lunch, i was beginning to worry whether i made the right decision or not...i don't want him to think i don't love him enough to be willing to wait around a few hours for him. *sigh*


...i think too much, don't i? i need to stop obsessing over this. i wish he would just tell me what he wants me to do, it would be so much easier.

textage

a most delightful text came into my phone just now. it only consists of two words;

'hai katak'
AND it's from a malaysian phone number!~



yeaaayyyyyy!~ musang's back!~

ooh and p.p.s

i just came across a song with a chorus that goes something like 'chorus, chorus, this is the second chorus,' loll XD

yesterday i was beginning to feel unhealthy because i woke up with zero appetite for breakfast. for me that's a clear sign that i need to work out. like, seriously. so when KuZett and Didie asked me to play badminton with them i said yes straightaway. Didie was screaming 'yeahh i'm Chong Wei!!!' all the time, lol. but then afterwards i was beginning to think it's not enough an exercise so i made the kids taught me a Taekwondo pattern (Didie's a red with black tip and KuZett just got red belt last week) and you have no idea how much it hurts my ego to say this, but...Taekwondo's patterns are way cooler than Karate's katas (kata = pattern). hahah...but that's probably because i'm a mere Karate blue belt so i haven't learned the cooler katas yet (haha in denial). and then Didie taught me some sparring and we had loadsa fun screaming and laughing our heads off XD

i best be off now. LOVES. <3

(blogger used to mark it as error when i don't write a title for an entry, but they've fixed that and now i can publish untitled entries - score!)

p.s. I NEED TOPUPZ QUICK OR MY BESTFRIEND WILL BE ROYALLY PISSED, oh dear. WHY do i always seem like i NEVER have any credit left???

hai there again

html editing is a pain in the arse so it's going to take me ages to have it done - we'll leave it with this template for the time being.

congratulations to the pendet who walked barefoot at the parking lot for me - it's his graduation day today.

cheers.

locking up for a bit

privating the blog for a while for some tweaking. wouldn't want people coming across when i'm editing and it's a mess. might change the blog title...hmm.

will be back soonish.

and Kakak, i do love you! x kaba pun takdop your picture, sowwwieee. <333

here there and everywhere

you know this thing with books, that when you read them and you like them and you get pretty obsessed with them you tend to want to write in the way the book is written? i am like that now, but i guess i can't write in Yorkshire accent.

i'm reading The Secret Garden, and even though i've watched the movie, i have never read the book. the book makes me want to go to London again and even though i know things will obviously be different from what it was like in the book, it would amuse me so if i were to go to Yorkshire, almost the way Twilight fans find it amusing to visit Forks even when they know it's quite a mundane place to be spending your holidays at.


oh...here be a conversation i had with Kakwe at her house

me : Kakwe, can i have the remote please?
Kakwe : no please.

XDDD


p.s. i've finally figured out how to baringkan the bus seats: score.

this is a sad day for a good friend of mine

she already lost her only sister years ago and today she lost her only brother...and i have no idea what to say or do or not say or not do~

i know for a fact that she's a strong girl and i hope she can go through this alright...

Al-Fatihah..~

gah!

i wrote a superlong emo entry and i guess that's enough venting for the day, people don't have to see it. i'm leaving tomorrow for Bukit Raja, which means i'll be deprived from the netz again, which is completely fine with me.

i couldn't sleep well last night because of my stuffy nose, which was really annoying.

and i ran out of credit again, can't text any of yous, sorry. call me.

kbai.

p.s. i licked the clouds in my dream and it tasted like vanilla. reality lied and all the gullible people believed him. poor gullible people. they'll never know that clouds are made of vanilla ice cream.

zomg weird day

i'm deeply frustrated because

1. yesterday my ex mocked poked fun at me for having a license but not driving. i've always had a weird urge to strangle him.
2. today my dad is sick and dad and mom went out of their way to think of who would pick the kids up from school when there i was, sitting at home being miserable.


i told mom she should frame my driving license because why in the world should i hold on to it when they wont even let me drive on my own (well, Atiqah..how about for you to use for checking in at the airport when you don't have your i/c with you...?). yes i'm not good at driving but WHEN will i be good if they wont let me practice? please, name me a person that becomes an F1 material straightaway the moment they were put behind the wheels. i've only drove like 6 times since i came back, and that's only to places that i can literally walk to.

but my merajuk-ing worked when mom let me drove her car by myself with the kids...even if it's only to the kedai 5 minutes away, it's a start. when i become a mother, i'd buy my kids a cheap second hand car for them to practice driving, assuming i wont raise jerks that are too arrogant to drive cheap second hand cars, that is. and i wont be a traumatic parent that is too afraid to let the kids go anywhere in fear of them dying. because REALLY, i don't have to drown at a beach. i can die in my room if that's whats written for me.

emo girl signing out.
(this beating object in my chest...it's tiring me. take it out and hold on to it for a while for me, please?)

okay, okay.

life is taking a sharp turn and i'm struggling to not appear to be just another drama queen. please let me be occupied when i get to Bukit Raja. despite being sick in Indonesia, my mind was set free and i was happy. but reality is still refusing to let me go and insisted to slap me on the face repeatedly.

like when it doesn't want to let me believe greg holden's voice is my life's soundtrack
or when it doesn't let me have my lovely rainy days when i need them
and when it tells me that clouds are not vanilla ice cream
and that the ocean isn't made of sparkling jelly
and that imaginary friends are for children only

and when it doesn't want me to keep thinking that there's a happy ending to all the fiasco of the unspeakable truth, and kept throwing proof to me. kept on showing me things i blatantly doesn't want to be seeing.

reality, if you're a person, you'd be a guy and i'd hate you so much, i'd marry you. because you know, in the belogical math of my brain, i don't marry people i love.


- Atiq
p.s. i'll be done with the pms-ing soonish. and pendet i'm sorry i was so freakin moody last night. you know i heart you.

after dinner entry

i love it when musicians on YouTube release albums. they're so fresh and talented.

that Jakarta/Bandung trip

haih...where do i start? i was somewhere in the middle of the mountains for my Spring break when Kakak texted and asked me whether i wanted to go to Bandung with her. i hesitated for a bit but then i said yes, which was a good decision, i can now say.

Abe Bob sent us to the airport at like, 5 in the morning..bless him. we were pretty excited despite feeling sleepy. i had the most sleep and that's only for like 2 and a half hours. the airport was packed with people going to places, from Filipina to China to Indonesia.

here be us at the airport

we were among the last ones in the line when the gates open, but we practically ran towards the plane and took over most of the people (and ignored dissaproving grunts and stares...lol) so we managed to get pretty good seats...hehe.

the taxi driver from the airport in Jakarta was really nice. he was hungry and asked us whether we brought kuihs from KL...lol. we freaked out and screamed many, many times when we were in the taxi before we got used to the crazy menghimpit-ing and had confidence in the pakcik. even though he sent us to WTC (pronounced wi-te-se) Mangga Dua instead of ITC (pronounced i-te-se) Mangga Dua so we had to walk for about a kilometre with our bags, i still think the pakcik is nice. thus began the shopping. not-so-surprisingly, it was hard for me, finding stuff i like. reasons being 1. i'm picky and 2. i'm too lazy to really look for things, so Kakwe had to constantly go "Atiq!! hok ni lawa!!"

grumpily eating a masin burger @ WTC. wouldn't
have finished it had i not had gastric pangs at the mo.

walking to ITC

jalan dekat Jakarta macettt memanjang, which was pretty irritating. and the air was SO bad. but other than that, Jakarta was nothing like i imagined it to be. it was huge and the night life was fantastical. Toyotas and Suzukis lined the roads the way Protons and Peroduas do here in Malaysia. and oh, we tried a ride on a bajai and practically screamed all the way to the hotel, hahaha. it wouldn't be as horrific had we split into two, but NO...we had to naik the same bajai, all four of us. kwang2..suke je buat keje nak mampus macam tu.

the Bajai ride; i was sitting on Awah's lap and i could've terpelanting
out of the Bajai any time..hahaha. adeyh. nampak tak my hand?
gaya holding on to dear life ke ape tu..hoho.

we went out for Nasi Goreng Gila that night, recommended by Kakak's very nice friend who lives in Jakarta with his Indonesian wife. he had to go back to Malaysia, so he could only play tour guide for us for a very short while. the street performers in Jakarta are very talented, and apart from the polluted air and kemacetan yang berleluasa, i think Jakarta is really cool and it has so much character.

we took a train to Bandung the very next day. i spent half of the time asleep and half the other time being traumatized by the crazy woman sitting beside me (read: Awah. hahaha).

after some initial glitches, we said hi to our (kerek) supir; Atep. i'm glad he turned out to be nice and funny after all the drama because he was our driver for four days. Bandung was really nice. the traffic were less hectic and the town was banjirrr with factory outlets, it was crazy. but by the second day in Bandung, i was already sick; shopping and walking around all day became a chore when you're sick, so it was annoying. i tried my best to keep up, but at one point i can feel the shiver getting so bad that i bought a hooded sweater on the spot and decided not to care that i look like a mugger in it. it's amusing to find out that nobody take you seriously, when you look like a mugger and go asking for gold clutch handbags.

the plus side to being sick is that i don't spend all of my scholarship money shopping, but the minus size is i became too sick to dress up for the pictures (so i look horrible in half of them) and that i think i spent too little. i didn't even buy myself a pair of jeans in Toko Tiga and jeans were my top priority.

Kakwe teman-ed me to the clinic by the fourth day because i couldn't help worrying that it's not just a fever when it hit pitch-high and i was feeling really weak. the receptionist didn't even know we're not local..lol. and the doctor thought we were Acheh Tengkus.

Dokter : Tengku dari Acheh ya?
Atiq : nggak...aku dari Malaysia.
Dokter : oh iya? wajahnya mirip orang Acheh.
Atiq and Kakwe : *lol*
Dokter : apa yang bagus di Bandung?
Atiq : kainnya..
Dokter : cowoknya?
Atiq : *lol* ya iya, cowoknya juga.

haha...the doctor was amusing. and Kakwe loved the weighing scale at the clinic...hehe. i was really impressed with the clinic, by the way. it has cardiologists and neurosurgeons and dieticians and dentists and everything under the sun scheduled to visit it at timetabled dates. i was really humbled. Indonesia wasn't what i expected it to be, at all.

it's impossible to write everything i experienced during the 5 day trip, but i had a great time. i know i'm a pain to travel with, whats with my gastritis and fever and whatnots, i'm really sorry about that Kakwe :(

i don't think i'll ever experience travelling with all three of my sisters ever again, which makes this one very, very, special indeed.

Indonesia was great and i loved it :)

<3

p.s. more piccies on facebook. blogger's taking ages, i cba to wait.

p.p.s. this entry is littered with grammatical errors, but i cba to edit. hehe.

back in White Villa

i left my charger in Bukit Raja....great. now the battery's out and mine is the only Samsung phone at home. phail.

i'll find time to write about the Jakarta/Bandung trip, maybe tonight. now i'm in a hurry sbb kejap lagi nak gi update my license from P to a full-fledged one, lol. to think that they don't even let me drive without a co-driver. *sigh.

you wanna know what happened yesterday? ah..we all went to a relative's place for an akikah..~

Relative : ni tingkatan berapa?
Atiq : *shockface*
Relative : eh...ke darjah berapa?
Atiq : *dies*

i swear i don't look twelve! OHMYGODDD. here be a latest picture, and YOU TELL ME.


(whoever says i DO look twelve shall be murdered)

i rarely ever take vain pictures like this one...mase tu nak tau tudung jadi ke tak, huhu.

oh, Didie didn't get any place in SIR, by the way. we weren't expecting anything, to be honest. she doesn't read English books, so she doesn't have the vocab factor. but we're proud of her anyways, having managed to go to the national level <3 you should definitely see it on tv, just to witness how robotic the primary level winner was...hehe.

catch you later?
-Atiq

iye iye, balik dah ni...adoiila.

hehe...HAIII. ain't you glad to see me posting, ey? ey? :p

first off; i don't look twelve, do i?? people from NST kept on thinking i'm the one going for the SIR primary nationals, patut ke? patut keee??? umur saya dua puluh satu sudeyy.

of the Jakarta/Bandung trip...i fell gering on the second day of the trip and was gering for the rest of the days afterwards...which sucked and damped the whole experience down. but Bandung was fantastic and i like the place and the people and talking in Indonesian language a lot. <3

Atiq baru je topup and me being the lazy texter that i am, i haven't caught up with all the texts that were sent to me since i came back and while i was in Indonesia. besides, i was very sick so i cba to text people.

am in Kakwe's office waiting for her to finish some stuff before heading to Melaka to culik Opie from KYS so she can come to Didie's finals tomorrow.

pictures of Bandung and Jakarta coming soon enough...as for now i'm going to brace myself and read the hundreds of emails flooding my account. and maybe probably write some stuff on my facebook profile as well.

i've missed you too, lovelies. hehe. MWAH.