Musim luruh
Daun-daun itu beralun gugur ke bumi
Indah menusuk ke dalam hati

Begitu ketara kebesaran Ilahi
Jika difikirkan

Dalam tenangnya desiran air di jeram
Dalam titisan hujan mengalir perlahan di tingkap kaca
Dalam ketawa riang seorang bayi
Dalam senyuman seorang ibu

Namun aku
Masih ketagih nikotin itu

Kau
Membunuh aku dari dalam
senyap
perlahan
sinis

Setiap kali kau
Datang menggamit aku

Namun aku
Masih ketagih nikotin itu

Kau.

from Mrs Nerimon to Hey Kristina

i always get love songs from a youtuber to another youtuber stuck in my brain. i'm a weird person i am.

i know things are destined to be the way it is because it's exactly what i need to grow as a person, but it doesn't make it any less painful to go through.

innallaha ma'assabirun.


xoxo
Atiqah

i walked through the rain to get home from class this evening, which meant two things;

1. drenched pants.
2. migraine.

i feel the flu coming my way. my eyes are watery, my throat feels weird and my head feels heavy. i seem to depend a lot on the paracetamol lately. it's funny how my paracetamol has 'Tengku Mohamed' written on the clear packaging, because they're actually prescribed for my grandpa after his chemotherapy. He just gave them to me because he's already got loads of pills to take so he ain't taking no paracetamols, yo.

it's beginning to get quite chilly over here in Faraway Land. the era of wearing winter jackets indoors shall now begin (i am, as a matter of fact, wearing one right at this moment).

bila air sembahyang batal rasa macam nak nangis sebab kena ambik air sembahyang balik. sejuk.



<3
Atiqah

from the views of a biased feminist

i don't get how Western women don't see that it's unfair that they're expected to have pre-marital sex with their partners and how being a virgin in their 20's is embarrassing by the society's standards...but abortion is illegal.

the eff, man. it's like they're saying,

'if you won't have sex with the men you're a loser. if you do and you're stuck with a baby even when you're not ready, you just have to friggin have it. i mean what are you, a murderer?'

Sean : what's your height?

Atiq : *baffled* wh....? I...uh...5'.

Sean : no way, I think you're about 4'10".

Atiq : I'M 5' LEAVE ME ALONE.



Sean. Irish. Height 6'5".

I'm a midget, I am.

there is less than 24 hours in a day

i kept falling asleep in CP lectures despite having angry conversations in my head that goes something like;

'ATIQ JANGAN TIDO. LECTURE NI MENAREK. MENAREK FAHAM TAK. STAY. AWAKE.'

'ATIQ, STAAYY AAWW....zzzzz'

'ATIQ, ST....zzzzzzzzzzz'


*stress*

but my level of concentration in Pathology lectures is massively improving, and for that i praise the Lord.

haih lepas dah cakap mcm ni tolongla jangan tidur plak dalam lecture Patho, sigh.

i was contemplating buying a new bike because i'm late to 50% of my classes (a vast improvement from last year's 85% rate), but i think i'll cry everytime i have to cycle uphill for more than 5 minutes, so yeah. buying a new bike = not gonna happen.

my old bike is too small (ok la fine it's actually the right size for me), so it takes like triple the effort to cycle uphill with it. Cork ni penuh dengan bukit. setiap kali kena naik bukit dengan beskal tu rasa nak pengsan.

k lah. nak belajar. case study tak buat2 lagi. there isn't enough time in a day ke, kau buat apa dengan masa kau Atiqah?

demi masa
sesungguhnya manusia kerugian

adik saya nama shendot.

tadi masa lecture Pharm bosan maka lukis-lukis atas notepad Shidot di meja sebelah sebab notepad dia kosong notepad Atiq ada nota siket-siket.

Atiq lukis lebah dengan bunga dengan matahari dan awan.

Pastu Shidot tunjuk kat lebah and tanya 'ni apa?' T____T


Tadi MCS punya meeting, pergi sebab Shendot paksa. Haha tak tak, pergi sebab nak makan free and jumpa the community.

Shidot : Atiq, kek batik ni aku buat. Sedap tak?

Atiq : seeddaaaaappp

Shidot : ee tak ikhlas!

*sigh. Budak kechik ni. Buat kek nak kena cakap sedap, pakai baju nak kena kata kacak, pukul kang.


ALSO. Met Lynn's niece yang sumpah comeyl, memandangkan ibubapanya yang cantik dan kacak.


Miha : Iman, axilla kat mana?

Iman : *points at armpit*

Miha : Iman, umbilicus kat mana?

Iman : *points at navel*

T_____T how is she so smart??? dasar anak doktor.

Kak Nana : Qul ya ayyuhal...

Iman : KAAFIIGHHUUNNNNN.


T_______________________________________________T

Iman Sofiya - Age: ~2.
Picture stolen from Dayah

i'm not crazy i'm just a little unwell

semalam saya tertidur-terkejut-bangun study-tertidur-terkejut-bangun study sampai cerah dan sudah tiba masa pergi exam yang start pukul9pagi.

kelas adalah merciless, sampai pukul 5 petang with only a one hour lunch break in between.

pada kelas terakhir, kepala sudah mula pening dan migrain tapi pergi jua sebab berdedikasi (haha)


Keith : Atiqah, you look like you're dying.

UCD students never have to study

i'm stuck with an exam on Monday and Amin's in Manchester watching a football match in Old Trafford.

he always have a much longer holiday AND he skips as much classes as he wants AND he gets to pass everything.

and i know our level of intelligence is the same because we both used to copy ain's homework.

TAK SUKA AMIN.

grr.

throat obstruction disease

i seem to never be able to answer ANYTHING. i'd know the answer to the some questions but they're always stuck in my throat. either that, or i always know what the answer is but couldn't think of it when people put me in the spotlight by asking ME specifically, and then when they tell me the answer, i'd feel like kicking myself because i actually know the answer, and my brain would go all 'YOU JUST READ THAT 10 MINUTES AGO!'.

i wish i can be Didie and know the answer to most of the questions instead of SOME, and i wish i actually have the courage to just speak the answer i have in mind, not just think it.

*stress dgn diri sendiri*