summer break so far / uninspired.

dear blog.

i haven't been inspired to write about anything at all lately, hence the silence. life has been fairly uneventful, the chain of tahlils has ended. i wish i have some guy friends in kelate who's not working or in college or in his summer break but living in freaking Japan who could come.

takpela because towards the end tu ada the orphans so meriah sikit rumah tu. kalau tak attendees sikit je, kesian tengok makanan banyak-banyak, membazir. lagipun guna duit Tokku.

i can actually sense this entry ending up being really boring. siiiigh.

kalau korang bawak kereta, korang jadi garang tak? because i have this penyakit yang bila i bawak kereta je terus jadi hotheaded and kerja nak menjerit dekat driver lain je, yang sah-sah takkan dengar (namun mungkin nampak ekspresi muka borderline insane). padahal sendiri bawak kereta macam sepupu syaiton yang baru dapat lesen, yang sah-sah setiap hari kena maki dengan orang. rasa macam nak beli sticker orang kurang upaya yang warna oren tu dan tampal kat cermin belakang kereta. jamin tak kena maki.

also when i drive i would usually give way (when there's no car behind me or when there are LOADS behind me) to cars crossing T-junctions and pedestrians crossing the road, because this is what is expected of you when you drive in Cork and i was hoping the pay-it-forward system would build the same culture here. so haritu i gave way to ONE car yang nak cross and the car behind me freaking HONKED me macam orang gila. urgh. bini nak beranak kot.

kay rant over. you see how bland life has been lately. just same old family drama that i won't tell here, and the fact that i fell in love with a kucing liar and named it Ngiau. lepas tu semua orang cakap Atiq bagi nama lame gila kat dia. hey maybe i'll put her picture up in my cinta hati pengarang jantung section one of these days.

lots of love.
Atiq.

Dear Tokku,

Kau begitu sempurna
Dimataku kau begitu indah
kau membuat diriku akan slalu memujamu

Disetiap langkahku
Kukan slalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa kubayangkan hidupku tanpa cintamu

Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu
Sempurna.. Sempurna..

Kau genggam tanganku
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku

Kau adalah darahku, kau adalah jantungku

Tokku passed away.

Tokku passed away.

It's not sinking in well. I saw his grave, I saw the leftover fresh milk and soy milk in the fridge. I saw the unopened pack of diapers for adults that Opie and I ran across Mydin to buy (both wearing kurungs), causing everyone to turn and stare in confusion.

At least this is better than when Anis passed away, I wasn't good to her, I didn't get to see her in the hospital, I didn't even remember what I said to her last.

Allah gave me a chance to do things the right way with Tokku. I was the last person to sleep beside him on his bed before he was admitted. I was the last person he had a real conversation with. I was the one who stood beside his bed in USM's A&E.

I was there. I was there for him. I was there for him and I'm glad.

He knew that I cared about him and I'm glad.

I never hear him say anything about me, but about two weeks before he went, he said 'hok nih hok baik sekali' to my uncle, pointing his hands to me.

I love you, Tokku. I hope you rest in peace.

Inna lillahi wainna ilaihi raaji'un.

at the risk of being too much.

hey guys.

berhabuk gila tak blog ni?

i'm going through quite a lot right now, nak spell it out pun susah, rasa perit.

kepada semua smoker yang baca blog ni (YOU. i made you quit once. quit again please?), have you any idea how selfish you are? nanti tua bila sakit bukan diri sendiri je yang seksa, orang keliling semua seksa having to see you go through that much pain, but not being able to do anything about it. just...quit. please. it's not worth all the pain you're risking yourself and your loved ones.

also, for what seemed like the first time ever, my heart ached for my dad today. i saw how my grandpa dissed him and pushed him away, walaupun initially ayahnda mengamuk juga (dua-dua hotheaded) tapi last-last mengalah, diam dan sabar. i doubt i will have enough patience to handle it if my father called me stupid but expect me to be at his beck and call 24/7.

grumpy sick grandpa is grumpy.

Atiqah

old school trains

we were driving up to the airport in the Honda Jazz Dr. Ismail left for us to use (he went back to Malaysia to get married) to get the two cars we're renting to drive up north to camp (and climb mountains, and go fishing, yeayy) when we saw thick black smoke billowing from the opposite direction. there were many theories

'ada benda terbakar ke?'

'hutan terbakar?'

'accident?'

'...keretapi ke?'

'huh?? takkan keretapi kot'

and then when we got closer we saw it; six or seven amazing old-school steam engines driving past us, releasing the thickest and blackest of smoke, with men dressed up like coal mine workers of the 60's sitting on them, grinning and waving at us.


sometimes life is just so epic.

'sisters know why you're in the mess you are in'

assalamualaikum blog.

i just got back from shopping for books as souvenirs for my sisters.

no, actually. that's a lie. i just woke up from the nap i took after i went into town to shop for books as souvenirs for my sisters.

i am really broke this year, for some reason. that's fine, Allah has destined my rizq to be that way. the problem comes, though, when it is time for me to go back home. because i do not have enough money to buy my (SIX) sisters their souvenirs.

so when the (ultra geek) Tengku Nadiah Liyana asked me to buy an agatha christie book for her, i suddenly got the idea to buy them cheap secondhand books for gifts. they're all with me with the idea, as i expected them to be (perhaps except for Opie who jokingly asked for a handbag instead; but she then texted me to get a Shakespearre compilation)

After getting their book preferences (i ignored Adik's wishlist kerana semuanya berbahasa Melayu. haih), i now have these in my room:

1. 'Hugo and Josephine' - Maria Gripe
2. A Series of Unfortunate Events : Book 13 - The End - Lemony Snicket
3. Sherlock Holmes : The Complete Illustrated Novels - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
4. Endless Night - Agatha Christie
5. A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
6. Planet Google - Randall Stross
   
7. Dreams from My Father - Barack Obama
   

i am a proud sister to six smart ladies who didn't dissappoint me by saying they want, for example, one of the shopaholic series. i have nothing against bimbo books bc i read them as well, once in a while. i just expect more from mafasynz.

xoxo

Atiqah

BANYAK NAK MATI BENDA KENA BUAT

TOLONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

juhw3q8ey32wrefhiskae2q

ini entry meroyan saya

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bye.

The least we can do

Qunut Nazilah

“Ya Allah, Sesungguhnya kami meletakkan-Mu di batang-batang leher musuh-musuh kami,
Dan kami berlindung dengan-Mu daripada kejahatan-kejahatan mereka,
Ya Allah, Leburkanlah kumpulan-kumpulan mereka, pecah belahkan dan kacau bilaukan persatuan mereka,
Goncangkan pendirian mereka ,
Dan hantarkanlah anjing-anjing kamu kepada mereka,
Wahai tuhan yang gagah perkasa!
Wahai tuhan yang penuh raksasa!
Wahai tuhan yang bersifat murka!
Ya Allah! Ya Allah! Ya Allah! Ya Allah!
Wahai Tuhan yang menurunkan kitab,
Wahai Tuhan yang mengarakkan awan,
Wahai tuhan yang menewaskan bala tentera Al-Ahzab,
Kalahkan mereka!
Kalahkan mereka!

Kalahkan mereka Dan menangkan kami ke atas mereka!”

Tentera Israel menyerang konvoi kemanusiaan GAZA Freedom Flotilla. On board include people dari berbagai negara. Sebuah kapal datang dari Ireland. Para human rights activists dan mujahid Islam yang turut serta tiada satu senjata pun on board. Hanya makanan, ubatan, dan bantuan kemanusiaan yang lain. Apa yang 'Israel' takutkan sangat? Orang Yahudi memang pengecut. Dulu Allah suruh masuk Falestin, diorang suruh Nabi Musa pergi sendiri dengan Tuhan dia and then bila dah settle baru semula panggil diorang. Sekarang terhegeh-hegeh nak Falestin. Sampai bila pun takkan ada tanah untuk kaum paling kurang ajar dalam sejarah. Kemenangan zionist hanya sementara.

Berjuta muslim akan berdoa untuk kehancuran kau, 'Israel'.

Doa itu senjata kami.

Be afraid.


www.lifeline4gaza.org

edit : I know not all Jews are zionists. But Jews in general from the Quran memang kaum yang dilaknat.